I’m only four years into this parenting thing, so I am still quite a novice. However, in those four short years, my husband and I have transformed and evolved with every milestone, year, and phase that passes by.
One of the beautiful parts of parenthood is that you get to see yourself in a new light. The moment that first baby arrives, you are forever changed. Your outlook becomes wider, feelings become deeper, and worries become greater. But it’s also a time of self-awareness. I found myself asking questions like, “Who am I as a person? Who will I be as a mother? What values do I want to instill? What do I want to pass down to my children?”
When my first child was born, I will be the first to admit that I was that stereotypical type-A, neurotic mom who thrived off of a clean house and a strict schedule. I killed myself pumping around the clock, providing organic food, and allowing virtually zero screen time. I thought that I had it all together. And then my second arrived a short 13 months later.
This is where the transformation began. I suddenly couldn’t be the neurotic mom I was with my first. Schedules became flexible, the house became a little messier, and chicken nuggets and macaroni and cheese became a staple in our house. I truly believe it took my second child to allow myself to let go a bit. Now don’t get me wrong, I prefer a tidy house and a daily routine, but I am not as crazed as I once was about schedules.
When I first started my blogging journey with Fairfield County Mom, I had written a blog post about how I did not allow my child to have any screen time. It affected her personality, behavior, and mood. Once again, the beauty in parenting is that nothing ever stays the same. Kids grow and mature, and therefore, our style, expectations, and rules change too. We introduced TV back into our daughter’s lives after they were two, and it has been a much better experience. And although we didn’t anticipate the change, we embrace all the fluidity in parenthood.
If I could advise a new mom, I would say this, “If you don’t like a phase, wait a week. Don’t get so caught up in what you ‘think’ is right or good because I can promise you that’ll change too. Embrace the changes in your children, and in turn, welcome the changes in you too.”
I’m not sure how my husband and I will evolve as parents next, but I look forward to seeing who we become in the process.