From the time I was a child, I always envisioned having three or four kids of my own. Within that equation, there were at least two girls. So naturally, when I found out my first child was a girl, I was ecstatic.
When we were told our second child would be a boy, I thought, “Okay, one of each!” And then, when we found out our third, the tiebreaker, was going to be a boy, I started to feel the pressure. We had one more shot left. This was our last chance for another girl. And that call confirmed the genetic testing for baby number four: “Congratulations, it’s a boy.” “Are you sure?” “Yep, it’s a boy!”
I planned a little gender reveal for our three kids in the kitchen. I baked cupcakes. My husband and the kids didn’t know. My husband took a big bite and immediately laughed. “Another boy!”
My daughter’s whole body collapsed into her seat as she sobbed. She was devasted. It was adorable and slightly entertaining, but I felt her sadness underneath all that. My heart ached for her. All I wanted was to give my daughter a sister.
And then our little COVID baby came in the summer of 2020. My kids loved on him. My daughter loved on him. But if you asked her, she would say she wished he was a girl.
I knew I was done having kids—my husband most definitely was—but in the back of my mind, I still felt bad for not being able to give my daughter a sister. One girl and three boys—not exactly how I had pictured my little family.
But then a friend reassured me, “It’s okay. She might not have a sister, but she has you.”
And then it clicked. Growing up, my sister was my person, my support, and my biggest cheerleader. Having a sister was so important to me because I didn’t have a healthy and positive relationship with my mother.
Family can be complicated, messy, and sometimes even toxic. Through it all, my sister was always there. We had each other.
My daughter might not have a sister, but she will have a mom to cheer her on, to go to when she is upset, and to call when she has good news to share. She will grow up with her three crazy little brothers. Her story will be a little different.
