Why Venting is Healthy


A woman venting on the phone.In general, I’m an upbeat person. In fact, many of my lifelong friends refer to me as the Pollyanna of the group. But I do love a good venting session. Who doesn’t?

When I was younger, the topics of the vents focused mostly on my boss, mom, or the guy I was dating. As I matured (cough, cough), so have the topics: still, my job and mom, add husband, inlaws, traffic, bills, weather, the never-ending dishes in the sink, and of course, my weight.

I don’t air my dirty laundry or most of my complaints on social media, but if text messages could talk, I would be in serious trouble. What I have learned is it’s necessary to vent. Those who say that’s not true, or that they don’t do it, must be lying. (Even men do it. Trust me, I’ve overheard my husband talking to his friends.)

I know I am blessed, and I have no complaints about 85% of the time. But for the other 15% of the time, I am so happy that I have a few go-to people who let me vent judgment-free. These are people with whom I trust with the details of my life because I know they get it.

I know I can call, text, or email them at any hour and blast about any grievance. Most of the time, I want an emoticon showing support or saying, “Wow, that’s ridiculous.” Sometimes, I need to be talked off the ledge, out of the fridge, or away from the chocolate bar.

I have learned there is no medal for being the silent martyr, and the more you let things fester or stay bottled up, the worse the eruption is in the end. In fact, all those people pretending to have perfect lives are either privately venting to their people or lying to themselves.

I believe venting allows me to have healthier relationships, be happier with my life, and also, in a weird way, help my friends feel better about their situations.

Am I alone? Do you vent?

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Maria Sette
Maria is a full-time mom, teacher, wife, daughter, and sister, who feels pulled in too many directions! Her older son Michael took over 24 hours to be born, and at six-months-old was diagnosed with allergies to dairy, eggs, nuts, soy, shrimp, and wheat…all after exclusively nursing because she was SO SURE that would help him be a healthy kid. Luckily at age 1, he began to outgrow some of his allergies. Fingers crossed the others will soon follow because that plus a husband who doesn’t eat any veggies and Maria always battling her weight makes for three meals to prepare every night. Luckily, Christopher, her younger son, is a cooperative eater! As someone who has always been committed to making positive change, Maria uses her privilege and position as an educator and mom to work toward a most anti-racisit, equitibile, and inclusive world. Recently, Maria has even started getting up at 5am to workout in her basement. (Thank you pandemic living!) She is addicted to reading chicklit on her Kindle app in the dark, most Trader Joe’s products, and watching TikToks.


  1. Try a boxing class or yoga. Depending on your personality, one or the other should help you get the stress out. If when you get angry your prefer to climb into bed and cry- try yoga. (journal writing or painting might also help this personality type). If when you get angry your feel like punching the $%&^# out of someone, try boxing. I tried yoga first and while I found it relaxing, it didn’t help relieve the tension. Then I tried boxing. I leave feeling happy, energized and relaxed all at once (if that’s even possible).


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