If you’re the parent of a toddler or preschooler, you’ve probably already heard many of the classic bedtime stalling excuses. “I’m thirsty,” and “I need to go potty” are staples of every child’s repertoire, as are “I have a tummy ache,” “I’m scared,” and “I need a hug.”
Some children, however, take the art of bedtime excuses to a whole new level. I’ve heard some incredibly creative excuses over the years. Here are just a few of my all-time favorites, straight from the mouths of my clients’ babes.
- Can I have some butter?
- I need some fried rice
- Teddy’s farting – it’s stinky in here!
- Fishy needs a bath
- Elmo pooped on my head
- I can’t find Elmo (said while holding Elmo)
- My hair hates that pillow
- I’m mad at the wall
- My feet stink
- My belly button’s itchy
- I need a balloon
- My eyelids are stuck
- My eyelids are boring
- My teeth are too fat
- My bed’s too small (five-year-old on a queen-size mattress)
- My sheets are too pink (sheets were green)
- My pillow got stolen! (shouted while sitting on a pillow)
- My socks are too tight (not wearing socks)
- There’s a bug up my nose
- There’s a sad cow in the closet
- I want to sleep in the bathtub
- The cat’s tail is too loud
- The baby’s too quiet
- The lamp won’t stop talking
- The rug is too ugly
- The clock is confused
- My dreams are TOO BORING!
- Superheroes like me don’t NEED sleep!
- I’ll sleep if you pay me
- I might need to tell you something
And the one that works every time…
- You guys need a hug
Ten minutes after putting my two year old to bed, I hear hysterical crying. I go up to check on her and she is sitting up in the corner of the crib. “Big (her stuffed lamb) won’t share the pillow!”