Expectations vs. Reality

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A mom trying to clean up her toddler boy.One of the steepest learning curves I have had as a mom is reconciling my expectations for how something will go vs. how it actually unfolds. I have a bad habit of planning for events with a vision in my head that is not entirely realistic. The way I imagine things rarely includes temper tantrums, picky eating, missed naps, or all of the general unpredictability that a 21-month-old brings.

Here are just a few times that my unrealistic expectations for my child – and myself – have taken a left turn and left me in an entirely different situation.

1. Swim Class

My Vision: How wonderful! We will teach our baby to be comfortable in the water, frolic and play in the pool, and enjoy a generally lovely family bonding time over shared aquatic fun.

The Reality: My son hated the water. He screamed during his first couple of classes, did the arched-back maneuver when we tried to get him to use a pool noodle, and whimpered sadly while shivering. We’ve persevered, and it’s gotten better, but it’s nothing like what I envisioned.

2. Play Dates

My Vision: We will get together with a few of his preschool friends. They will play nicely with the play kitchen and toy cars he loves. I can enjoy a cup of coffee with potential new mom friends.

The Reality: My playroom looked like a bomb went off. Toys were thrown all over the room (and even directly at a sweet boy’s face!). There was lots of crying and fighting over the same firetruck, and the moms were so distracted. It was more of a workout than anything.

3. The Restaurant Meal

My Vision: We’ll go out to a family breakfast! Since my son happily eats eggs at home, he’ll certainly eat them in the restaurant, allowing my husband and me to enjoy our coffee and meals. It will be a beautiful memory.

The Reality: He doesn’t want his eggs, preferring instead to try and drink my coffee. Ignoring the books and toys I’ve brought and the crayons the restaurant has given us, he wishes to either play with the knife next to his dad’s plate or tear up napkins and fling them on the floor.

I have an energetic and spirited child, and I would not have it any other way. So, while it is rare that my expectations for a situation jive with reality, I’ve resolved not to leave those events disappointed.

Getting through a swim class without crying might not be the happy splashing moment I imagined, but for us, it’s an achievement. Maybe my son didn’t want to share with all of his friends, but he had fun playing. Maybe our breakfast out wasn’t the sweet family meal I imagined, but it was filled with laughter.

Instead of trying to live up to the unrealistic hopes I’ve set for my son – and myself – I try to roll with the punches and take the small victories.

What is a time your vision for an event didn’t match what actually happened?

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Betsy
Betsy lives in Ridgefield with her husband, their adorable and active son the Little Monkey (born in February 2013), and a large, very furry dog. She is a professional fundraiser and amateur baby food puree chef. When she’s not crawling after the Little Monkey and stopping him from poking the dog in the eye, she loves to read, cook, and fold onesies while watching DVR’d episodes of Bravo reality shows.

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