I watched a lot of TV as a kid; some were probably inappropriate, but that content went right over my head. I now watch “Must-See TV” shows and get many more innuendos and jokes.
There has been some criticism of shows from the 90s and early 2000s. The criticism relating to some material and casting could have been better regarding sensitivity and diversity. I’m not going to delve into all of that here, but rather celebrate what one of the most beloved shows taught us about how different families are.
Looking back at the show FRIENDS, I now realize how important the different family dynamics portrayed were for our generation.
Chandler showed us about having divorced parents and a transgendered parent. Though hard on a young Chandler, his parents never stopped supporting him. Both of Chandler’s parents were able to walk him down the aisle for his wedding to Monica.
Monica came from a loving home with two parents and a quirky older brother. What Monica (and Chandler) addressed as the show was winding down were infertility and adoption. Struggling to have children on their own, they were ultimately able to adopt two babies to start their family, as seen in the last episode, part one.
Phoebe had one of the most challenging family dynamics. The woman she thought was her biological mother was not and ended her life when Phoebe and her twin, Ursula, were fourteen years old. Her father also left the girls when they were infants. She was always on a search to find him, and she finally got to speak to him after her grandmother’s funeral.
Through her father, Phoebe finds out she has a half-brother. Though their relationship is still relatively new, she can help him, and his new wife navigate their infertility journey and highlights how being a surrogate can help create a family.
Rachel grew up with two parents, but they divorced shortly after she called off her wedding when she realized it wasn’t right. As a young adult, she had to help navigate that family dynamic along with two sisters. Rachel also highlighted becoming a single parent. As we know, it was revealed that Ross was Emma’s father. He could be a co-parent with her, but she made that choice before the audience knew that and highlighted yet another option of how a family can come to be.
Ross had a similar upbringing to Monica since they are siblings. However, his relationship with his first wife, Carol, ended with her finding her true love. In the first season, Carol and Ross are expecting their first child. It is not known that Carol is pregnant until after she and Ross divorce. Carol and Ross divorce so she can pursue her relationship with Susan. Susan and Carol get married and raise their son together, along with Ross.
This family dynamic shows divorced parents and two moms who make their situation work for their son. Ross also has a daughter, Emma, with Rachel due to a one-night stand. He tries to be a good dad despite not having a serious relationship with either mother of his children.
Joey did not have very many serious relationships or children of his own. However, he came from a very large family with six sisters. He is a protective brother who only wants the best for his sisters. Joey gets very upset when Chandler and one of his sisters may start a relationship and when one of his younger sisters is pregnant and unmarried. He navigates through both situations and is very supportive.
His character shows that you don’t necessarily need to be married and have children of your own. You can have a fulfilling life with your siblings, nieces, nephews, and most importantly, FRIENDS who become your family.
FRIENDS is mostly a relatively unrealistic comedy, but these characters, their choices, and their family situations are realistic. Undoubtedly, many viewers can relate to some of the circumstances they faced. I’m glad this was a part of my early adulthood.
*You can find FRIENDS on TBS or streaming on HBO Max
