To My Sister: On the Verge of Motherhood


Dear Sister,

I’ve been secretly waiting for the day you would tell me, “I’m pregnant!” I have wanted to share this whole motherhood journey with you since I became a mother myself. So when that day came, I tried not to scare you with my excitement. I let you know through the phone that I was excited and happy for you, but not so much that your eardrums burst. You couldn’t tell over the phone, but I was smiling from ear to ear.

Because you see, when I see you with my kids, it is just beautiful to watch. I see how their eyes light up at the mention of your name. I see how they run into your arms when you (barely) walk through the door. I see how much they love you. They see what I see – a beautiful person who is so giving and full of warmth and love. It melts my heart to see them with you. No one is like their “Auntie.”

photo credit: Marisa Leigh Photography

I’m so eager for you to experience motherhood. I can’t wait to see your growth. I can’t wait to see you change. To get to witness that lightbulb going off in your head. That, “Wow, I get it now.” I know I’ve tried to explain what becoming a mom is like. I do my best to put it into words, but hearing about it and experiencing it are two very different things. And sometimes, there are just no words that truly capture motherhood and how we feel.

I know you are going to be an amazing mommy. There is no doubt in my mind. But on the verge of motherhood, I know you worry about this in the back of your mind. There’s that pressure you put on yourself not to screw it up. It’s something that I worried about too.

I know you’ve seen some of the ups and downs through me. You have seen how it can get a little messy (or a whole lotta messy).

But remember, even in those moments when you feel frustrated and defeated and like you have nothing left to give, you are still a good mom.

I will tell you. You may not believe it, but I will still let you know.

Know that it’s okay not to be okay.

It’s okay to be overwhelmed. It’s okay not to have all the answers. And it’s okay to cry. Tears of joy. Tears of love. Tears of exhaustion. Tears of frustration. Tears for the sake of tears. Lots and lots of tears.

Know that it’s okay to need a break.

You need a moment to yourself where you don’t have arms reaching for you. It’s okay to wish for five minutes of silence and adult conversation that doesn’t revolve around poop. It’s okay to hide in the bathroom. It’s okay to take care of you. Because, honestly, you can’t take care of others if you can’t take care of yourself.

Know that it’s okay to ask for help.

I know it’s hard for you because you see it as a sign of weakness and because you don’t want to bother others. But we all need a break. We all need a hand. We can’t do everything all the time on our own.

Know that becoming a mom will have you doubt yourself even more.

And when you hear everyone’s opinion on everything, you’ll probably feel more confused and even a little frustrated. But trust your gut. Do what feels right. You’ll learn as you go. If everything were easy, there would be no opportunity for growth.

Know that it’s okay to wonder. 

“Where did I go?” “How did I get here?” and “Who the heck am I now?” It’ll take some time to figure it out. But this is a process. Things will be different, and so will you. Oh, so will you.

Photo Credit: Marisa Leigh Photography

I am so excited for the first time, you will hold that precious baby in your arms. You will be amazed by that little creature and, after that first day together, wonder how the heck there are so many people in the world.

I’m excited for you to love a love you have never felt before. A love you never knew existed. That little baby will teach you so much about yourself and about life.

This journey is bumpy. It’s messy, it’s exciting, it’s crazy, and it’s beautiful. It’s unlike anything else. I can’t wait to share it with you. I’m here for you always.


Your Big Sis

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Alisa is a psychotherapist, life coach and mom of three. Alisa is a native of Fairfield County and lives with her husband (a New York transplant), daughter (October 2012) and two sons (January 2015, June 2018). Following the birth of her second child, Alisa left her full-time job and pursued her dream of starting her own private practice by founding Balanced Being Counseling, LLC and Balanced Being Coaching, LLC ( located in downtown Fairfield. Alisa specializes in working with young women and moms to decrease stress and manage feelings of anxiety and depression. She is trained in treating perinatal mood and anxiety disorders and is an active committee member of Postpartum Support International- CT Chapter serving as the Communications Chair. Alisa is the creator the Facebook Group, Balanced Mama, a non-judgmental space for moms to feel inspired, gain support and come together among the chaos. She is passionate about motherhood, supporting women, buffalo chicken and a good margarita.


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