Meet Alisa: The Balanced Mama

If you had told me a year ago that I would be writing for a blog, I would have probably laughed out loud. But like, for real, laugh out loud.

“Why,” you ask?

Well, because English was always a tricky subject for me in school. It’s not that I disliked the material; I just wasn’t a big reader, and writing never came naturally to me. I always had to work hard at it. I was great at expressing myself verbally, but when it came down to organizing my thoughts in a flowing, structured way, everything always seemed all over the place.

But truthfully, looking back, it does make sense that I am where I am because I have always loved journaling. I’ve always been in touch with my thoughts and emotions, which is no surprise that I went on to study Psychology and later received my Master’s in Social Work from Columbia University.

In addition to trying to make sense of myself and those around me, my biggest fear in life was repeating family patterns. I spent my higher education learning about child development, behavior, mental health, and wellness to ensure I would do it right.

I provided in-home therapy to children, parents, and families. I worked on parenting skills, provided psychoeducation, and taught coping skills. I helped to strengthen and stabilize family relationships. I felt competent. I felt confident.

Then I became a mother. And it was hard. Like, really hard. Parenting tested my patience and highlighted my flaws. It had me doubt myself. And in a way, I was crushed. I had this perception of the parent I would be, and I couldn’t live up to it.

But I came to realize that all moms have moments when they feel like they are failing. That motherhood tests our limits and, on those really “fun” days, leaves us lying on the floor with our hands in the air, yelling, “I give up.”

I realized motherhood is a journey. That there is always more to learn. And there is always room for growth.

I learned it’s about finding a balance and that everyone’s ideal balance is different. It’s not perfect, and it is ever-changing. It’s about figuring out what works best for you and your family. It’s prioritizing. It’s making sacrifices. It’s learning to say “no.” It’s figuring out what you need to give up and what you need to gain. It is about listening to your body, your heart, and your soul. It’s trusting your gut.

A balance between having high expectations of ourselves and being gentle with ourselves, and acknowledging that we are human. We are human, goodness. On some days, we will really rock it. And some days won’t until we mess up, that’s when’s realize that no matter what, we have to keep striving to be our best selves. For them. For us. That all the good qualities, all the good things we do, should not be overshadowed by our mistakes and moments of weakness. Because that is just not fair.

I learned to be the best mom you can be; you need to take care of your own needs. That by taking care of yourself, you are better able to take care of your family.

Becoming a mom changed me. It has rocked me to the core and opened places in my heart I never knew existed. It is because of this journey that I have a passion for helping other moms find their balance, trust themselves and their abilities, and gain confidence when they need it most.

The work we do is real. As moms, we doubt ourselves so much because we’re on the line. Being a mother is the best job in the world, but it is also the hardest. Sometimes we need to hear: “You’re doing a great job. “You’re the best you can.”