Moms, a Little Modesty Please


modestlyJust last week, I was distraught by some things being passed off as “mom humor.” I am no prude, but I began to reflect on the state of women’s conversations in (and outside) the mom circle. I truly believe that as mothers, we should feel comfortable talking about subjects that were once taboo, like miscarriage and postpartum depression, but where do we cross the line into full-blown TMI? Where does the line of being honest and informative become vulgar and crass? Here are my two cents…

The Birth Stories

Ladies, it all begins here. I distinctly remember hearing every gory detail from every single woman who had given birth. Every. Single. Detail. I appreciated the advice some gave me, such as asking when an epidural might not be possible or bringing my own shampoo and conditioner to help me feel human again. However, I found myself in conversations involving episiotomies gone wrong, uncontrolled bodily functions, and post-delivery fluids.

The worst part? Some of these stories were delivered in mixed company. Ladies, while your best friend might want to know every gory detail of your birth, I can assure you that the new colleague eating her sandwich for lunch or the man who doesn’t have any children does not. Let’s try to keep those details for our closest friends.

The Breastfeeding Photos

Yes, I breastfed. Yes, I support all women who breastfeed. Yes, I understand you have a right to breastfeed anywhere your little angel needs to, with or without a cover. However, do I need a slideshow of the latching process? Do I need a zoomed-in close-up of your nipple? Probably not. Ladies, there is such a thing as a private and intimate moment. I would argue are that these moments are definitely more intimate than the 500 friends on Facebook would like to see.

It’s not that I am attempting to censor your right to be proud of breastfeeding or that I think it’s shameful or “dirty.”  In fact, I think it’s wonderful, and I think those photos are a cherished part of your collection, but much like a love letter written by a significant other, or a sonogram shot, these are private. Let’s keep them that way.

Sonogram Photos

Okay, I know I’m going to get some angry mamas on this one, but it is your baby’s very first picture. It’s a photo of your warm and wonderful womb. As I would imagine, it is another private and intimate place you might not want to spread all over the internet. Even worse, please don’t set it as your public profile picture! What about all those creepy weirdoes looking at it? Just, no.

The Former or Current Condition of Your Lady Parts 

This is an important one, ladies. While everyone who has given birth has stories of varying pain levels, repair procedures, and intimacy hurdles after giving birth, many women find comfort in getting some helpful hints about soothing the delicate area after vaginal birth with their closest friends. Discussing the condition of your lady parts in a public place is a no-no. If you feel the need to get lots of random opinions about this topic, feel free to post on one of those baby center sites, and lots of moms will be more than happy to share the gory details. However, you can spare the rest of us your woes, unless, of course, we are your close friends. Then, all bets are off!

While I support every mom’s voice in sharing her unique experience, we must consider when we have crossed the line. Your closest friends and mommy confidants are often ready and willing to hear everything you have to say. Just try to consider your audience. Let’s try to be sensitive to those around us. Trust me; people will thank you!

What kinds of mom-related stories do you feel should be kept private?


  1. Couldn’t agree more with these..I’m easily grossed out by all those details and I would never subject anyone to listening to mine..yucky!

  2. To each their own. Sonograms don’t bother me, and I happily posted mine to happy friends. Other stuff: know your audience and be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.


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