My nine-year-old twins just completed their sixth dance recital and have decided they no longer want to dance.
I knew this day was coming because after their recital last year, they said they wanted to be done. I asked them to give it one more year so that they would get their 6th-year dance trophy, and they reluctantly agreed.
I also hope that with one more year, they will decide to stick with it.
It sounds so cliché, but ever since I found out I was having identical twin girls, I couldn’t wait to sign them up for dance. Dancing was something I didn’t get to do when I was little. I always desperately wanted to, but whether it was for financial reasons, my shyness, or something else, I never got to. So I started dancing in an audition for my college show choir. I got in, partly because of that dance audition, and I absolutely fell in love with dancing on a stage.
I never excelled at anything physically when I was younger. Even though I played basically every school-sponsored sport growing up, I wasn’t good at any of them. I even used to joke that I played “left bench” for all three years on my middle school softball team. I was only put in volleyball games to serve. And only put in those softball games to get walked and then steal bases. But I was good at dance.
So when I had two little girls, there was no question in my mind about signing them up for dance at two years old. I wanted to give them what I never had the chance to do as a child.
Isn’t that something every parent wants for their children?
Every year, they said they loved it. They danced around the living room in their old recital costumes. It was so fun to watch them progress in their skills from year to year. But the last two years, they kept complaining about going to class. They still loved learning choreography and performing in the recital, but getting them to class every week was a nightmare.
This year, they performed in their very first ballet production number. And it was gorgeous. I watched them dance, and I can’t help but feel their joy. When I saw them on stage in this recital, I don’t think I’ve ever been prouder of them. They performed their most difficult ballet routine ever, and seeing their growth from last year to this year is something I will never forget. They have the musicality and the body awareness to really excel as dancers (in addition to having great feet), but they don’t want it.
I don’t want to force my kids to do something they really don’t want to do. I want my kids to find something they love to do. Something I don’t have to push them to do. Right now, for my girls, it isn’t dance.
Even though I secretly hope they return to the stage someday, I hope even more that they find joy in something, whether that’s dance, gymnastics, or something else entirely.
