Summer is underway, and social media has no shortage of summertime activity recommendations, recipes, summer bucket lists, and family vacations. As a full-time working mom, I get Summer FOMO. My schedule has not changed. I’m still in the office by 8 a.m. and logging out at 5 p.m. My little guy is in daycare year-round. My oldest is in summer camp, where I pay an arm and a leg to drop off early and pick up late (but that’s another article altogether).
I admit the fear of missing out (FOMO) is real for working moms in the summer.
Paid time off allows for vacations here and there but overall activities and fun are confined to weekends. That working mom guilt creeps in when you see another mom who may have summers off or stays home with the kids posting museum trips and beach outings.
Then, you overcompensate. You do EVERYTHING. Everything is in 48 hours, of course. Then everyone is tired, broke, and grumpy. Guilt, overcompensation, exhaustion, repeat. This summer, I have three suggestions for battling the summer FOMO cycle in all caps because I’m extra like that.
1. SCREW THE BUCKET LIST.
If that works for your family, absolutely, but the summer bucket list is the ultimate FOMO for working moms. I do not have time for three columns of activities. Also, what if it rains for half the weekends in the summer? What if you have piano lessons and birthday parties or even a day date with the husband? Weekends are already busy. We won’t get to 80% of it. Throw out your printout of a summer bucket list. It’s not welcome here.
2. TO HECK WITH THE “YOU ONLY GET EIGHTEEN SUMMERS” NONSENSE.
My eye twitches every time I see one of those videos or memes about how you only get eighteen summers with your kids. The only way that’s true is if you treat age eighteen as the end of your parenting journey if you don’t plan on having a relationship with your teens, young adults, adults, and hopefully their kids. I just enjoyed a moment from my 36th summer with my own parents going to Maine. So FOMO be gone, you don’t just have eighteen summers. If you play your cards right, you get decades more if health and life cooperate.
3. TALK TO YOUR DANG KIDS.
What do they want to do this summer? My youngest wants to go to Sesame Place. My oldest wants to go to the pool. That’s it—no extensive list. The cycle of FOMO, overcompensation, exhaustion, and repeat is driven mostly by parents. We put too much pressure on ourselves to make magical summers.
We imagine what they want, what we think they want, and what social media tells us they want. Realistically, they might want something really simple. Or something that you can make room for an overnight or weekend trip. Take the pressure off and enjoy the time you have.
