5 Things They Did NOT Tell You At Kindergarten Orientation


Kindergarten orientation

FULL DISCLOSURE – I have never attended a kindergarten orientation.

Yes, my twin daughters are about to start first grade (what?), but we moved to Fairfield County last spring and did not close on our house until the end of July. I got them registered in mid-August, and the first time they ever laid eyes on their school, their classroom or their teacher was the day before school started. So, yeah.

It was chaotic. It was scary. Sometimes, I think, more for me than for them. Because yes, kids are resilient and can handle just about anything life throws at them.

So for me, this whole year was a huge education. Learning the differences between the Midwest and Fairfield County; socially, culturally, and economically. And yes, there are some differences. HUGE differences. And yet, in many ways, I have found that people are people no matter where you live. And, spoiler alert, we ALL thrived through that first year in school.

Here, though, are a few things I wished I had known: some so that I would have done a few things differently, and some so that I just would have been more prepared.

1. Oh, Dear Lord, the money asks. 

There are school fundraisers. There are classroom treasuries. There are book sales. And book fairs. And school store. And holiday boutique. And definitely start collecting box tops now, so your kid has a lottery-like chance of winning a Shopkin. Oh, and they want to put up a new playground. And now they have to install the playground. Do you see where I am going with this? Take an envelope. Put it in your kitchen. Now take all the money out of your wallet and that of your co-parent, and put it in this envelope. Do this at least once every four days. You should be fine now.

2. You are most likely not going to like every parent that you meet.

Yes, this is just a part of life. But in this situation, depending on how active you can be in the classroom, you may get to see each other quite a bit. So here are a few pieces of sub-advice I would give you.

  • Do NOT friend every person you meet on social media until you have had a chance to know them. Then decide if you want to let them into that part of your world and see you in the way you portray yourself there. If you get an invitation from someone, hold off until you’ve had a chance to vet them to your satisfaction. You can always pretend that you didn’t see the invite.
  • Try to get some one-on-one time with a parent that you didn’t click with immediately. Oftentimes a first impression might have been out of context, and when you get some time to concentrate, you might find some common ground.
  • It doesn’t really matter. In the end, you won’t like everyone, and everyone won’t like you, so accept it and move on.

3. Trust the teacher, trust the administration, trust the school. 

These people are professionals. They are there for no other reason than to educate your child and all the other children in the school. Not just YOUR child, but ALL THE CHILDREN IN THE SCHOOL. Treat them with respect. Openly ask questions. Make sure you get all the facts or as many of them as possible before you jump to conclusions. And all that being said, trust your gut.

If something is not working for you, seek to understand and then resolve. Remember that you are a part of a larger community, and depending on your other kids, you might just be dealing with this school for the better part of a DECADE. My kids’ principal might not be my best friend (nor should she be), but I let her know that I support her and respect her, and we have a very amicable relationship.

4. It’s OK to say no.

There is going to be a very large amount of time that you will be asked to volunteer. Remember all those money asks I told you about? They need you to cashier. They need you to chaperone. They need you to read to the kids in the classroom. There were no fewer than 6 special events at the school. The International Festival. The Luau. Put your FOMO aside and only go to what you want to go to. Your kids will survive missing The Dads Club movie night. It’s a word. And that word will set you free. NO. NO. no. no.

5. Let your kid ride the bus.

If you are harboring fear that something might happen to your kid on the bus, please stop. Because not only are your fears (mostly) unfounded, you are doing several very dangerous things with this decision. Again, you are broadcasting that you do not trust the administration to take proper care of your child, but you are also telling your neighbors, most of which are probably lovely people, that you do not trust THEIR children to not hurt your child.  You are also telling your child that the bus (and, by extension, the outside world) is something to be feared, which it is not.

Please don’t do this to yourself and your child. Putting my 5-year-old girls on a bus last September was terrifying. I cried. But they got to school just fine. No, I did not follow the bus in my car. I went for a run. And I cried. And then, at the end of that terrifying first day, my husband and I did not make it to the stop in time, and the bus drove away with our kids on it. And we both lost our ever-loving minds. And yet it was all OK in the end. Because it just was.

If this fall is your first foray into your kids going to school full time, take heart. It is a rite of passage. You did it, your mom did it, and people for the last significant amount of time have done it.

You will survive kindergarten. So will your child. You will actually love a lot of it. Some of it will be hard. It’s a lot like life. So experience it. All of it.


  1. As a fellow mom of four, a lot of these are absolutely spot-on.

    But I have to disagree with the “NO” to volunteering. Not the least of reasons is that it likely helps you with your #2 point on meeting and getting to know people. (And it shows your student that you care about their education and school.)

  2. Thanks Cathy! I did not mean to suggest that you say NO to everything – just that you not get yourself into more than you can handle. Thanks for reading and commenting!

  3. I don’t want my kid to ride the bus because she had never gone to school or anything before. the bus picks up at 6:50-that’s 40 minutes before I’d have to leave for carpool drop off, and drops off at 2:50, that’s 30 minutes after school ends and car pool pick up begins. So that’s an additional hour that she would be away and it’s already going to be a huge transition just starting school. Not because my neighbors or the school administration aren’t trustworthy. The school does encourage bus riding and even feeds the kids breakfast but it’s just so early!! We don’t even wake up til 7:30-8 so it will be a huge change for us. Also we go to bed at 8 so we will have to move that earlier too. Over all I’m sure everything will be fine but I am worried too!

  4. Number 5 comes across as quite harsh. There is nothing wrong with not wanting your kids to take the bus. I like to see my kids walk into school and know they got in there safely but most of all I love having the extra time in the morning. My decisions are not broadcasting any distrust for the administration or my neighbors children, they are my choices that I get to make as a mother. Just because I choose to drive my kid doesn’t make my decision a bad. It would be really amazing if we could praise moms for making the decision they feel comfortable with not projecting our own views on to their decisions.


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