Ask Your Mom

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A daughter asking her mom questions as they look at a book.My children ask me A LOT of questions, all day long, from the moment they wake to the last thing they say to me at night. Most recent subjects include volcanos, space, real estate, police bomb squads, and the criminal justice system.

I work hard to explain as much as I can about any question asked. “What’s an appraisal?” My 7-year-old can now explain it. We Google, YouTube, and research their questions together.

They love to ask me questions about when they were younger and hear me tell the stories. What were their first words, when did they learn how to walk, and how did they eat when they were babies?

When big moments in their lives happen, they flip the script on me. My children ask what happened to me when I was little.

For example, my oldest daughter recently lost her first tooth, and she asked, “Mommy, what happened when you lost your first tooth?”

And that’s where my ability to answer questions stops. 

When faced with questions about myself as a young child, my family, or parts of my past, I’m at a loss for answers. I don’t know, don’t remember (mom brain?), or was never told about parts of my family history.

My parents are deceased, and my mother left my baby book blank. On top of mourning their absence in our lives, I’m experiencing a loss of self. Memories of my past have disappeared, and there is no one to remind me of my childhood or share those tales with my family.

I hope that if my mother were living, she would tell extraordinary stories of little Jamie. I want nothing more than to have one more day with her and ask her all questions that go unanswered.

While reciting my dreary family medical history to a new doctor this summer, I was referred for genetic counseling. I was able to gain most of my family history from relatives, but my parents’ input wasn’t available. I want to be able to answer the hard questions as well as the storytelling questions.

I encourage you to take time with those who raised you. Talk to them and relive the special milestones you reached when you were your children’s age. Knowing the answer to these questions will surely delight your children when you can recount your childhood days. Record your family medical history. Learn what you are genetically made up of, what you are at risk for, and what could be passed along to your children.

Soak up as much as you can so you are never left wondering about your past, with questions that can no longer be answered.

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jamiem
Jamie is a mom to a daughter (2014) and boy/girl twins (2016) and rescue rabbit Gilbert. She was born and raised in Westchester County, NY and together with her husband (married in 2011), made Danbury, CT their hometown. She is fortunate to have found two dream jobs: a licensed Connecticut real estate agent with The Valentini Team at Coldwell Banker Realty and Children’s Programming Assistant at her local library. Both bring her joy because they allow her to help others—guiding families as they find a place to call home and inspiring children to develop a love of learning and reading from an early age. Before anyone in her house is awake, she can be found at Burn Bootcamp or on the Peloton leaderboard, which fuels her long days of work and momming. Morning workouts are as athletic as she gets, although getting her children to all their activities is like an Olympic sport, and her favorite thing is tucking her children in at night and catching up on whatever show she is streaming. As much as she loves staying in, she doesn’t pass up a night out or weekend away with her childhood girlfriends or a date night with her hubby.

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