I have the sweetest video of my oldest child as a toddler pulling on a handbag and saying, “We go to church.”
Our family is traditionally Catholic. I was raised a Christmas and Easter Catholic, unless I was with my father’s mother, and then it was an everyday mass Catholic. I received my sacraments and, as an adult, chose to attend Mass on my own.
My husband was also raised in this faith, although his parents dropped him out of religious education after he received communion. He enjoys Mass and was even upset his favorite priest was transferred to New Canaan’s parish.
When we moved to Fairfield County, we toured churches and chose a parish we felt at home in (there are three catholic churches in Danbury). Raising our own children Catholic seemed the natural thing to do, starting with celebrating their baptism and registering them for religious education in first grade.
Two-thirds of my children have fallen in line with this plan, but there is one who does not agree with our religious parenting decisions. I admit that our twins didn’t get the most exposure to church, because honestly, who wants to sit for an hour with antsy babies, toddlers, preschoolers, and now third graders?
As we are near our twins’ communion, my daughter is very vocal about her lack of faith. She has even gone as far as to say she is not Catholic and that she does not believe in what she has been taught in religious education.
The child I am writing about happens to have a 504 plan, so I wonder if it is religion she is against or the expectation to sit still for an hour in church, listen to and read texts she doesn’t understand, or attend an afterschool class that doesn’t capture her?
Schools are expected to meet the needs of all students; could religious institutions provide specialized instruction or masses to meet the needs of all their parishioners as well?
So here I am, faced with yet another agonizing parenting decision – should children have a say in their family faith?
My children have plenty of choices- what to wear, eat, play, the list goes on. But when it comes to their belief system, I worry that I am pushing something on them that they have not personally connected with. Will that connection come in time, or will they brush off religion as they grow?
We thought we would share our faith with them, raise them with it as part of our family traditions, and as adults, they would inevitably make their own choices. Could one child be expressing her choice now, and can I be accepting of it?
Feel free to DM me, however as parents and godparents our roles that we accepted when baptizing our children in the church is to raise them in the faith. As hard as it is.. i have 3 of my own that lament over it.
Your husbands favorite priest parish welcomes all children every week.. perhaps coming down to the 10am Family mass to see all the children . The parish has different types of religious education classes.. there is choir and class. they also have special needs classes.
Because the diocese moves priests it’s okay to also reevaluate the church and parish you belong and perhaps to find the new right fit.
I hope you continue the faith learning for your children. with so much change in the world having faith in whatever religion people belong to.. is a one constant we have through life. it’s not easy … i know but we are all better because of it.