I love being a working mom. Having a career and a life outside of raising my children is something I value. Despite all this, I wholly reject the idea of “leaning in.”
Women in the workforce often hear the phrase “lean in.” This was popularized in 2013 from Sheryl Sandberg’s book of the same title. It encouraged working mothers to have a seat at the table and push their way up the career ladder.
My feelings on this subject are more in line with a quote from the comedian Ali Wong, “I don’t want to lean in; I want to lie down.”
In my career, I have been encouraged to strive for leadership positions, project manage, and publish papers. Just this past week, I was asked to contribute to a video series that would be done in the evening. This opportunity would have improved my career in a few different ways.
I said no.
From 5 p.m. to 8 a.m. I am neck-deep in parenting and do not have the bandwidth for other projects. Like many other moms, I am jostled awake way too early and am on the struggle bus to get my kiddos to daycare before work. Then, when I pick them up on the way home, it’s another several hours before I have another moment to breathe.
However, it won’t always be this way. When my kids are older, they’ll need me less. Maybe then I will do a video series or do some home research on a quality improvement project. But for now, once everyone is in bed and I have time to myself, I want to lie down and tune out.
Perhaps leaning in is for moms of older kids, moms with more help, and empty nester moms. Leaning in is not for a mom of a three and five-year-old. I am just trying to get through the day with everyone fed and happy.
