I’ve been on maternity leave for a little over four weeks now. I can’t believe how fast the time is going, and I am grateful that I have six weeks left, although I am sure that those will fly by just as fast.
This is my second maternity leave, and I have to say that I have been enjoying this one so much more than my last. It is an entirely different experience this time around, in a good way! Don’t get me wrong, I would not trade anything in the world for the three months I spent at home with my first, but there was certainly no shortage of stress or tears as I adjusted to becoming a mother.
Last time, I dreamed of a sparkling house, gourmet home-cooked meals, and relaxation. I clearly did not realize how much work it takes to care for a tiny baby between feeding, diapering, wishing they would sleep, rocking to sleep, watching them sleep, worrying about why they aren’t waking up, and so on. A lack of mom friends that I could relate to, plus a severe case of cabin fever with a crying newborn, would make anyone a little stir-crazy, right?!
Here are a few tips that have helped me enjoy maternity leave and survive the newborn stage!
1. Realize that maternity leave is not a vacation.
Your job during maternity leave is to take care of a newborn, to take care of yourself, and, if you have them, to spend time with your older children so they still feel special. If you can get anything else done besides those most important jobs, consider it a bonus, but don’t be so hard on yourself if you don’t have time to cook dinner every night or do laundry that day.
2. Find your village and use them.
It does take a village, which can include family and friends. Your husband, grandparents, mom friends, and daycare teachers are all part of your village, and you need them! Let grandma take your older child for a weekend sleepover or grab coffee with friends to talk about anything other than how many times you have to change a dirty diaper!
3. Get out of the house at least once a day.
It might be tempting to stay holed up in the house in your pajamas and not pack the baby up in the car, but trust me, you need to get out of the house! Get out of the house, whether it be a walk around the block, wandering at Target while enjoying a Starbucks coffee, or on a play date.
4. Get ready for the day, even if you have nowhere to go.
Even though you might spend most of the day glued to the couch feeding your newborn, don’t underestimate the power of a shower and some makeup!
5. Don’t overbook yourself.
Even though you need to get out of the house and talk to other adults to keep your sanity, don’t over-commit. Don’t feel bad about saying no to invitations, especially if it will cause you stress about where and when to feed and change the baby, etc. You can decline an invitation and stay home on the couch, snuggled up with your peacefully sleeping baby.
6. Accept that it’s going to be difficult.
This goes along with realizing that maternity leave isn’t a vacation. If it weren’t difficult, you could still go to work and not need maternity leave! There will be adjustments for your family, especially if you have older children. Once you accept that you will get minimal sleep and will be feeding and changing the baby around the clock, it makes the days easier. Understand that the baby might cry all day, and there might not be anything you can do to help it because sometimes babies cry just because they want to.
7. Don’t watch the calendar.
If you are going back to work and have a limited maternity leave, the time going by is bound to stress you out as you will have to go through another transition once you return to work. Savor the time that you do have, and don’t stress. This is easier said than done, but try to focus on all of the positive things with going back to work, like getting those cute pictures in your e-mail from daycare about their day or being able to eat your lunch while it’s still hot!
8. Find a good show to binge-watch or books to read.
You will be sitting around feeding the baby, holding them, and watching them sleep. Find a good show to binge-watch or books to read to keep yourself entertained for all those times spent on the couch or in bed.
9. Try to get into a routine.
I had no routine during my last maternity leave and was intimidated even to attempt to get into a routine. As a result, it was utterly unpredictable when it was time for a feeding or a nap, which made it stressful to go anywhere. A routine will help you know if you can accept or need to decline an invitation and when you can leave the house. This time, I’ve naturally fallen into a routine because my older daughter still goes to daycare, so we have pick-up and drop-off times, and I’m exclusively pumping, which forces you into a routine.
10. If you have older children, let them stick to their regular routines as much as possible.
I contemplated taking my daughter out of daycare while on maternity leave. Still, my husband and I decided against it because we felt it would be too much change, along with becoming a big sister. I’m so thankful that we made this decision.
