Everyone Gets What They Need


A mother hugging her daughter standing next to her son.It happened.

I got the “You love her more than me” statement from my oldest, who angrily shouted at me.

Growing up an only child, I never felt slighted by my parents. If I felt terrible, it was just plain “You don’t love me,” not that someone else had a larger place in my parent’s hearts.

I made it nine years into my motherhood journey without my love being questioned, but here I am, passionately explaining how my love is equal and enough for all three of my children.

My parenting philosophy stems back to what I learned in my early childhood education coursework.

Everyone gets what they need. That need is not always the same.

My oldest has always been happy to be with me or my husband. She’s my clone and my husband’s buddy. She has always been independent; even as a very young child, she could happily occupy herself.

My girl twin needs ME, my time, my attention, my care, my bedtime routine. She’s happiest being my shadow and will take on any domestic chore.

My boy twin is a boy; he throws balls against our walls over playing with any toy, is sensory-seeking, touches every wall, and leans on and drags his body on every piece of furniture we own. He is also sweet and intuitive about people’s feelings, asks a million questions, and dissects every situation. I purchased a soft cushion play couch for his specific use and to hopefully extend the lifetime of our couch. Why? Because that is what his body needs.

It is a non-stop juggling act to meet the needs of these three. My greatest wish is that when my children grow up, they will fondly remember their childhood. I hope they feel safe, seen, and loved.

No child is loved more than the other. I’m unsure how I can prove that or best put it into words so they understand. One day, their hearts may grow a few sizes with each child they love, and only then will they know the deepest love I have for them and the greatest joy they have added to my life.

How do you show your love to your child and provide them with what they need?

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Jamie is a mom to a daughter (2014) and boy/girl twins (2016). She was born and raised in Westchester County, NY and together with her husband (married in 2011), made Danbury, CT their hometown. Jamie is a real estate agent with William Raveis Real Estate. In the present day, more than ever before, “home” is an essential and safe place in an ever-changing world. Helping clients achieve their homeownership goals, searching for the home that’s “just right,” or helping them move on from a home that no longer serves them drives Jamie in her real estate career. Home for Jamie is Northern Fairfield County, and she never gets tired of spending time in the community with her family, visiting her favorite parks, and exploring local shops and restaurants. Jamie can be found on the Peloton leaderboard at 6:30 every morning, which fuels her long days of work and momming. Morning workouts are as athletic as she gets, and her favorite thing is tucking her children in at night and catching up on whatever show she is streaming. As much as she loves staying in, she doesn’t pass up a night out with her childhood girlfriends or a date night with her hubby. 


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