Fake Resting No More


A woman resting under the covers. I recently had coffee with a dear friend when she mentioned she was reading the book, Present over Perfect by Shauna Niequist. Since she was not the first person to mention it to me, I asked her a little bit about it. Immediately she started talking about the idea of fake resting.

It looks like I’m resting, too. But I’m not. I’m ticking down an endless list, sometimes written, always mental, getting things back into their right spots, changing the laundry, wiping down the countertops…I fake-rested instead of real-rested, and then I found that I was real-tired. {Shauna Niequist in “PRESENT OVER PERFECT”}

Are you nodding your head now? I was at this point! After almost seven years as a mom, I have perfected the art of fake resting. I was so intrigued that I immediately went home to research more about this topic. 

When I read this quote, my eyes started to tear up. I became overwhelmed with sadness. This was my life. For good or for bad, I finally understood why I was perpetually tired and cranky.

I also came to terms with why I had anger toward my husband. He tries to help out, regardless of what it looks like to me. It’s not his fault he honors himself and sits on the sofa to watch the game (insert whatever sport is in season) or favorite TV show live. The nerve of him when there are dishes in the sink!

As the year wound itself down, including my big 4-0 birthday a few days before Christmas, I decided I would fake-rest no more. I made this my gift to myself. It’s the only resolution I’m setting.

Now, when I take that first delicious sip of coffee in the morning, I don’t do it with my phone in my hand, checking email. Instead, I look out my window to savor the experience. When driving, I try to remember to sing along with at least one song rather than anticipate the next five things I need to get done. I’m hoping I will feel a weight lifted off my shoulder by putting an end to fake resting. 

The opportunity is there for me to leave things undone, for me to lower the stress level in our house a little bit, for me to choose a less complicated path, and I’m the one that she keeps choosing a complicated, to-do-list, push, push, push, way of living. {Shauna Niequist in “PRESENT OVER PERFECT”}

Have you perfected resting, or are you a closet fake rester? 

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Maria Sette
Maria is a full-time mom, teacher, wife, daughter, and sister, who feels pulled in too many directions! Her older son Michael took over 24 hours to be born, and at six-months-old was diagnosed with allergies to dairy, eggs, nuts, soy, shrimp, and wheat…all after exclusively nursing because she was SO SURE that would help him be a healthy kid. Luckily at age 1, he began to outgrow some of his allergies. Fingers crossed the others will soon follow because that plus a husband who doesn’t eat any veggies and Maria always battling her weight makes for three meals to prepare every night. Luckily, Christopher, her younger son, is a cooperative eater! As someone who has always been committed to making positive change, Maria uses her privilege and position as an educator and mom to work toward a most anti-racisit, equitibile, and inclusive world. Recently, Maria has even started getting up at 5am to workout in her basement. (Thank you pandemic living!) She is addicted to reading chicklit on her Kindle app in the dark, most Trader Joe’s products, and watching TikToks.


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