Hi, I’m Amber!
I’m a listmaker, “getter-donner,” and SAHM who likes few things better than sitting down at the end of a full day with a content sigh, knowing I’ve crossed everything off my list. My husband is the same, a “make-it-happener” who thrives off of productivity and loves to plan even the finest detail.
Five years ago, we sat in our one-bedroom apartment in Queens with our two babies, making lists of the pros and cons of where to buy our first home. How far is too far to commute to the Bronx? How are the schools? Do they allow chickens?
Eventually, we landed on Trumbull because it ticked all the boxes. An hour commute, had great schools, space for the kids to run, and they allowed backyard chickens; it was a winner.
After a few life changes, we decided to homeschool our oldest, who was kindergarten-bound. We hit the ground running. Research curriculums. CHECK. School supplies. CHECK. Do all the work joyfully every day. CHECK.
It was so easy until it wasn’t.
Before I knew it, my second was ready to start kindergarten and did not check any of the boxes. He did not do work joyfully. He did not enjoy reading or practicing handwriting. It was not anything I was used to or expecting. It forced me to take a step back and evaluate.
Does checking all the boxes and getting everything done in the expected timeline determine value and worth, or was this a broken ideology?
What I’ve taken from my “throw me for a loop” child is that in a society that idolizes productivity, it’s okay not to always get everything done. Everything will happen exactly when it’s supposed to, and sometimes it’s necessary to look past the list and savor the beautiful moments I would’ve missed in rushing through all the things that “must” get done. The list will still be there later, but striking this balance has been my new source of contentment.
