Meet Hannah: Motherhood in Action

0

I’ve always been trying to figure out how to “define” myself. I am a category-assigning, list-making, systems thinker, and when I was younger, I was constantly searching for the *asterisk* to my identity.

I went to college wanting to be a doctor because what better definition is there than a label right in your name – Dr. Hannah? Realizing that medicine wasn’t the vocation I thought I was looking for, I struggled to figure out what *MY THING* was. I enjoyed my career and loved the life I was building, but I was still looking for the direction that made me excited and fulfilled.

After getting engaged, I moved to Stamford, CT, and the search continued. I found it somewhat in my community and the home we created, but still I felt stuck in the “thinking about” what I wanted to be, rather than the actual “doing.”
My husband and I got married and decided to start our own family. We were beyond thrilled when finding out we were pregnant, but after a few weeks, a big scare made us worried it would not end up how we hoped.
I was diagnosed with two subchorionic hematomas (blood clots behind my placenta), and for the first six months of my pregnancy, I was on modified bed rest. The uncertainty was all-consuming. Add a global pandemic to the mix, and I was fully locked into the non-doing, only-thinking about what the future would bring. Happily, my beautiful daughter Flora was born healthy, and I gratefully threw myself into being her mom.

That’s the funny thing about motherhood is the way it changes you is all-encompassing. After what felt like forever of wishing and hoping, I was thrilled for every last moment with her.

For a woman who constantly analyzed the future, goals, and direction, I was surprised at how much I loved being completely present with my family and new addition. An infant does not care about your five-year plan. Her needs were immediate, and I was excellent at delivering.

I realized that the true excitement and fulfillment I had always been searching for was not in how I defined myself but in what I could accomplish when I was present. I began to focus more on being in action rather than thinking about it all, and the need to find *my thing* went away.

I leaned into a career in real estate after avoiding the “family business” forever, took risks with exciting investments, and committed to more roots in the community where I lived.
So now I relish being in action. I am a real estate agent in Fairfield County, a real estate investor, a mid-westerner turned east-coaster, a yoga instructor, a mom to Flora, 3, and Leo, 1, and wife to my wonderful husband.

I AM A DOER. Motherhood taught me that while a plan is always helpful, the real beauty is how you act, pivot, and improve on that plan.

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here