There’s something quietly funny about the way we imagine adulthood as kids. So many little girls grow up picturing the same milestones: marriage, a house, a family. I was no different.
As the child of divorced parents, I think part of me always dreamed about creating a different kind of childhood for my future kids. Parenting doesn’t come with a manual, and everyone is simply doing the best they can with what they know at the time. But when you grow up experiencing certain absences or hurts, you naturally start imagining how you might do things differently someday.
I always thought that motherhood would be my chance to do that. But life has a way of rewriting the script while you’re busy making plans.
A large portion of my adult life has been spent focusing on my career as a nurse. I found purpose in caring for other people. Along the way, I discovered parts of myself outside of work, like a love of traveling, reading, and creating a life that felt full and independent. That routine and stability became comfortable, familiar, and safe.
And then the pandemic hit, and as it did for so many of us, life shifted. Somewhere in the middle of it, I realized that I had worked and adventured my biological clock years away. Slowly, the picture I had always imagined for myself began to change.
The idea of having children of my own faded from something expected into something uncertain. I found myself laughing (and, truthfully, mourning) the childhood plan I once held so tightly. Life had rewritten the script entirely.
And yet somehow, the script led me exactly where I needed to be: my other half slid into my DM’s (because that’s what we millennials do), and the rest is history.
Today, I’m a bonus mom to three awesome kiddos. And let me tell you: being a bonus parent is not for the faint of heart. But I like to think that I have a unique understanding of the impact a stepparent can have, both the beautiful parts and the complicated ones.
I’m not a mother in the traditional sense, and that’s okay! My role in these children’s lives was never meant to be traditional. It’s layered, constantly evolving, and sometimes messy. It’s deeply rooted in patience and requires showing up even when things feel uncertain.
There’s so much conversation around motherhood, but far less around the experience of being the outsider stepping in. The balancing act. The vulnerability. The rejection. That’s the perspective I hope to share here with Fairfield County Mom.
When I’m not with my party of 5, you can find me training for a HYROX race or curled up reading historical nonfiction. I’m so excited to be part of this community and to share my experience navigating life, love, and family as a bonus parent.
