While pregnant with my daughter, I received plenty of well-meaning advice from veteran moms. Now that I’m pregnant with my second, I’m revisiting some of that advice and finding most of it to be kind of, well, not helpful. When it comes to raising a child, I’ve found one piece of advice to be universally helpful.
This is a phase. It’s simple, but I bet if you lay any kiddo situation on the table, it will probably apply. Here are some key times when “This is a phase” has been the only thing I needed to hear.
The exhausting first months.
Some people told me, “It gets better,” but that never resonated with me. It doesn’t necessarily get “better”—it’s really not that bad—it changes. Plus, it’s not like midnight wakings never happen after the first few months. Waking every couple of hours in the middle of the night is a phase. Anytime my daughter goes through a sleep regression, I remind myself it is a phase.
Issues with nursing.
I had an overactive letdown while nursing. The milk came out so quickly that my daughter would choke on it. Sometimes, I thought I should quit, but my wonderful lactation consultant told me it was a phase and she would eventually adapt, which she did.
Separation anxiety.
My daughter has struggled with this on and off since she was born. Sometimes, she needs to feel the security of mom and dad, which can be overwhelming, but it doesn’t last forever. It’s a phase, and I don’t miss the extra hugs.
Being super sick.
My daughter had 13 ear infections in her first year. We were constantly at the doctor’s office, constantly on antibiotics, and it was exhausting. She got ear tubes when she was 11 months old and hasn’t had an ear infection since. That was a phase, and I’m glad it is behind us.
Many more scenarios—tantrums, fussy eating, bathroom habits, etc.—can fall into this list, too. Right now, we’re dealing with some toddler regression since we’re expecting baby #2, but it’s okay; it’s a phase!
