Moms Stop Apologizing for the Mess


A woman sitting on a couch in a messy house.Moms everywhere, please stop apologizing for the mess. Seriously. Stop yourself right now.

First of all, we are on the same team here. I understand full well the uphill battle of trying to keep life organized. It’s okay. There are five other people (and a dog) in my house living their lives and consequently making messes.

Therefore, I am not judging your home, or car, or purse, or even your schedule. I understand how messy life gets sometimes, so please don’t feel bad that you don’t have it together all the time.

Secondly, the mess around you is not your fault alone. Why are you apologizing for your husband, children, and pets? Did you run through your house and throw all the shoes out of the shoe bin, leave scissor scraps of paper and crayons all over the table, or pile ten pairs of used socks on the bench? Did you splash the water out of your dog’s bowl, wear all the clothes that resulted in massive piles of laundry, or eat the snacks in the third row of the car?

Give yourself a break. It’s enough to keep your things together, never mind managing everyone else’s. You put the best systems you can into place and give yourself some grace when life gets too busy to keep it together.

Third, are you apologizing for a messy house after having my child over for a playdate? Instead, I’d like to thank you for opening up your home and letting him play there (and probably make a mess!). I appreciate that you let my kids have fun and feel welcome. Are you apologizing for a messy car while giving my kids a ride? Thank you for sparing me an extra trip and safely getting my daughter to practice on time.

Let’s own the ways we are supporting busy lives rather than despair that we might be falling short.

Life is busy, and even when it’s not, it’s okay to let things slide. We always have to prioritize how we spend our energy and time. If there’s not always time to havesomethings as clean as you like, maybe we all have our expectations too high. Is your space safe and happy? Are you busy making memories and allowing the messes in, knowing that you’ll get to them eventually? Are the people you love healthy and know they are loved? Then you’re doing your job. And I ron’t care if your house is a mess as a result.

Do you always feel the need to “apologize for the mess?” Can you give yourself the grace to let it go?


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