I remember when having a BlackBerry was all I wanted, and when I finally got one, it was so cool to have email on my phone. I also had the 2nd Kindle Edition (until a few years ago when one of my kids stepped on it), but that also had the basics of the internet on the go. I would ride the train to my job in New York and was able to respond to emails or download books. It was pretty fabulous to have all these tools at your fingertips while riding the train.
What I thought was a fantastic tool for being mobile (and now somewhat dependent on it for miscellaneous things, not just phone calls) turns out to be something disruptive and disengaging. I know we often discuss the importance of being present as adults and not letting kids have phones, limiting their screen time, or giving them watches instead to stay connected.
However, are we as adults watching how we interact with other adults when our phones are present?
This has been an issue for just under 20 years now, where we have devices that connect us to everyone else while we’re in the room with people we are supposed to be engaged with. There was an incident that has been weighing on me lately, and I wanted to share.
When I had a corporate job, I was required to give a presentation to all the executives, the majority of whom were based in Boston, so it was conducted via a shared screen and conference call. I was responsible for our new intranet, learning about it, and then teaching the executives and their teams how to use it.
This presentation had been cancelled and rescheduled several times, and I was incredibly nervous. Finally, the day came for the presentation, and a few members of the executive team were sitting with me in New York. I started the presentation and looked over at the other people with me, and they were staring at and typing on their Blackberries. They barely looked at me while I was speaking. They were not engaged with me at all, which was disheartening.
Today, I sit on several boards, and during meetings, I make sure I’m engaged and refrain from checking my phone unless it’s for information that might be helpful to the meeting. The peers and colleagues who take the time to present information to the rest of the board deserve the full attention of everyone in the room.
Whether it’s a teacher, a manager, or a volunteer, those people have prepared information to discuss and share with you; giving them your undivided attention is the minimum you can do.
I also try to model good phone habits for my kids. Whether we’re at the movies or a performance, I make sure my phone stays off. It’s essential to establish boundaries and recognize when it’s appropriate to be connected and when it’s not. Our school district even implemented a no-phone policy during the school day, which has led to more in-person interaction among students. Hopefully, teachers are seeing the same benefit.
