Baking Bread and Finding Myself Again


Sprinkling flour on bread dough.Few smells remind me of my childhood more than freshly made bread.

For the first few years of my life, my mom stayed at home with us. She cooked everything we ate, made our clothes some of the time, and generally kept the house running. One of my favorite things she made (and frequently!) was Anadama bread.

Anadama bread is a classic yeast bread created in New England made with flour, molasses, and cornmeal. It reminds me of home. Since it was a gross day outside (again!), I decided it would be a good day to remake my childhood favorite.

I recently got a bread machine. I’m usually a bread snob, doing everything myself: kneading, proofing, shaping, proofing again, baking. But I wanted to make things a little easier on myself with all the changes in my life.

With a bread machine, I could still have the bread I love while saving myself some coveted time.

It took a few tries to tweak the recipe enough to fit in the smaller space that my bread maker required and get the taste right since I had to rely on online recipes rather than the exact one I grew up with.

I think I’ve finally mastered the ratios for all of the ingredients, and it reminded me that breadmaking might actually be a metaphor for my life.

I’ve had a lot of change recently: I got divorced. I’m buying a new house. I’m developing a different and healthier relationship with my children. I’m returning to the person I used to be before my marriage, who is someone I like a whole lot more.

Who thought baking a loaf of bread could bring up so much emotion?

Returning to myself this past year has been a journey. And I can’t believe it took a bread machine to help me realize how far I’ve come.

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Charity is a newly-single mom of three with a son born in 2012 and identical twin daughters born in 2017. She lives in Monroe and has been writing for Fairfield County Mom since 2019. Charity is a full-time speech-language pathologist, working with patients all across the lifespan. She is also an intuitive medium. In her life before children, Charity was a professional stage manager, working in theatres throughout Fairfield County. Charity is passionate about her family, career, ballet (which she began at 39 years old!), musical theatre, and her amazingly-supportive friends as she begins a new chapter in her life. She firmly believes that you are never too old to stay stuck in a situation that is causing you pain. You can follow her on Instagram at @charityferris.


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