With Mother’s and Father’s Day, many spouses are trying to figure out how to treat the special person in their life. Some want a gift, a meal with family, or some alone time. In our family, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day have evolved into what is now known as Choose Your Own Adventure Day. As working parents, we rarely have time to do something truly for and by ourselves. This allows us to spend time with our family as well as refill our own cup.
Every Mother’s Day for me starts with breakfast in bed and cards and cuddles with my kids. Once everyone is cleaned up and the kitchen is in order, I am off! I chose an activity that I generally wouldn’t have the time or energy to do. In years past, this meant things like a museum trip and a solo omakase sushi lunch. One year, I went to the casino and got a massage, and tried my luck on the slot machines. This year, it was a trip to the shoreline for a bookstore and the outlets. Then, home with the family for evening dinner and bedtime.
My husband, being more of a night owl, often chooses an evening activity for his Choose Your Own Adventure Day. We still start the same with breakfast in bed and family time, but as our family’s foodie in residence, he often chooses a restaurant to check out. He sometimes goes into Manhattan for this, meeting a friend for dinner or drinks. This year, he made his way to Mystic to try out some eateries that we wouldn’t otherwise have the opportunity to check out.
On this one day, my husband and I do something selfish, something that is just for us.
The year I went to the art museum by myself was great. How often as a working parent do you get time just leisurely to walk through a museum? Slow down, appreciate things. How often does my husband get to have lunch at a random taco place in the city? Check out a place that we wouldn’t necessarily choose for a date night or that isn’t kid-friendly?
These are the things we enjoyed as people before we were parents. As parents, while bringing joy and love that I never could have imagined, we also change our priorities from our hobbies and likes to our kids’ hobbies and likes. One day, those might re-align, and I would love to share those hobbies and activities with my kids (I hope and pray at least one of them will like sushi). Until then, having something like a choose-your-own-adventure day lets us keep that part of ourselves relevant and helps us stay true to ourselves as well as mom and dad.
