Now, let me preface this by saying I’d consider myself a fairly strong and resilient individual.
I’ve overcome some difficult family dynamics growing up, and when things get tough, well, I plow through. I’m that person who takes care of herself. I depend on myself. It’s what I do.
In college, I majored in psychology. I wanted to help others, but more importantly, I needed answers to better understand certain family members and mental health overall. And there were moments in my Family Therapy Class in grad school that I thought, “Ya know, I should probably try this whole therapy thing out for myself.”
But I never actually did it. And then we put our house on the market with a baby and two young children. After 130 days of this (give or take a few), I could feel myself breaking. I was in over my head.
And my husband was just as stressed. I’d say more. So when one of my close friends reached out to me, wondering if I could recommend a therapist in the area, I thought, “Okay. This is it!” I texted her back, saying I’d do some research and that I was actually thinking about seeing a therapist myself.
I opened up to my college roommates in a group text to make the move to see my own therapist. One responded that therapy was great for her after having her first child. And another said, “Really? Can’t you hire yourself? I thought you must have all the answers to stay composed.”
I was a little surprised by her response. I wasn’t quite sure how to respond. But then I thought how she must think that, since I work with moms to decrease stress and manage feelings of anxiety and depression, that I have all the answers.
But the honest answer is, I don’t have all the answers. Therapy isn’t having all the answers. Therapy isn’t about someone telling you what to do. Therapy is about discovering yourself and being vulnerable. It’s about not being judged. It’s about having accountability. Therapists hold space for you to open up about things you don’t or can’t do with others. Therapists help YOU find your own answers. They cheer you on. And let’s face it, everyone could use a cheerleader in life.
And although I may understand mental health, behavior, and coping skills better than the average person, I can’t be my own therapist. Just as a doctor can’t give themselves a checkup. Doctors need doctors. Teachers learn from other teachers. Therapists turn to other therapists.
Sometimes we need to call on others to help ourselves.
I’m thankful that we are talking more about mental health and wellness in this day and age. I’m glad that in the age of social media and comparison, we are acknowledging that life isn’t always that beautiful picture we post.
Life can be wonderful and beautiful; yes, it sure can be. But it can also be hard, tough, real, and raw.
So to the person reading this, I hope you can see that it’s okay to know your limits. It’s okay to be human. It’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay not to be okay. And it is perfectly cool to go and see a therapist.
