Finding Your Village as a New Mom


Mom friends chatting in a park.My dad always used to tell me, “You can’t burn the candle at both ends.” I would work all day and have social activities at night, rarely having downtime. I’ve always been a social butterfly and thrive off being busy

As a small child, I never was shy or reserved and had no problem speaking my mind to anyone with ears. Not much changed when growing up, moving out of the house, and off to college. I always felt like I had plenty of friends and busy social life, and I never lacked anything to do during my free time.  

I feel so lucky to have a tight-knit group of friends from childhood and another group from college that I still talk to daily. I cherish these women and am thankful for their years of support and friendship. Unfortunately, we are scattered throughout the country, so though they are only a phone call away, I missed that in-the-flesh friendship in my day-to-day life.  

After giving birth to my first daughter in 2016, I realized how hard it was to make friends as an adult. I never had this problem before and struggled through motherhood’s early days without local, like-minded friends. Until I was home with my new sweet babe, I had never felt so alone and in desperate need of some adult interaction. 

This time, I wasn’t looking for friends to hit the newest bar for happy hour or take a last-minute getaway, but instead, friends who knew what I was dealing with. The sleepless nights, breastfeeding troubles, the days that were so busy but also left you wondering what you did all day.

I needed mom friends and had no idea where to find them! 

“Find your village!” If I heard that advice one more time, I would scream. 

Where is this village? Do they have a website or a phone number? Where do I sign up for “the village?!” 

I had people telling me to find other moms in a similar place in life as if it was easy to find these women by looking out my front door.  

It wasn’t until I sought out these friendships that I was able to find them, and it wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be! Once I put myself out there, I found other moms seeking the same thing!  

I am sharing a few places that helped me to find those mom connections, some of which turned into great friendships or at least were a way to get out of the house and talk to a real-life adult when I needed it most:

1. Local Libraries

Many local libraries offer parent/child classes during the week. These may include sing-a-longs or a read-aloud. Libraries also have kid’s play areas! There are usually other kids/caregivers there to play with or strike up a conversation.

2. Workout Classes 

I have found some of the most lovely women through Fit4Mom! Most classes are stroller based, so you bring your baby along! Whether you are looking for a heart-pumping workout, need advice from other moms, or need adult interaction to get out of the house, Fit4Mom has you covered! I have returned to classes after the births of each of my three kids and found great support.

3. Moms’ Club

Many of our towns in Fairfield County have a local Moms’ Club. These clubs offer playgroups, moms’ night out, and other fun community-based activities. 

4. Town Pools

If your town has a pool, I guarantee there are a handful of moms, at all times, wading through the shallow end with their little ones.  

5. Local Facebook Groups 

This is a great way to connect with local moms to meet for a walk or a playdate.

Those early days of motherhood can be overwhelming, wonderful, and sometimes isolating. Find your people and lean on them. That’s what friends are for! 


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