When my ex-husband and I decided to get divorced, dating was the last thing on my mind. I pretty much swore I wouldn’t be interested in letting a man get that close to me for a very long time, if ever.
My whole life was in a complete state of limbo for such a long time. I wanted and needed to live life on my own.
But about six months after our separation, I became much more social. I tell my friends now that I was coming out of a fog I didn’t even realize I was in until it faded away.
It was almost as if I was reinventing myself. I had lost so much of who I was when I was struggling every day in a bad marriage that I hardly recognized myself anymore.
As I started becoming myself again, I also started feeling like I might want to try dating again. I was really scared, and after being out of the dating world for so long, I had no idea how even to begin. It wasn’t that great the first time I did it.
Luckily, my newly single status and the time I couldn’t be with my children made it much easier to hang out with my (much younger) friends who didn’t have children.
And you know what a bunch of single 30-somethings do? They date.
Dating now isn’t like it used to be. When I met my ex-husband, online dating was fairly new, and there weren’t a lot of options regarding the sites you could frequent. Now, there are smartphones and apps.
I’m a 41-year-old recently divorced mother of three. Could I do this whole dating app thing?
After a quick tutorial from a couple of friends, I made my profile. I completely freaked out, second-guessing my decision to return to the dating world almost 20 years after I left it.
The day after I made my profile, I got a message responding to one of the conversation prompts I had answered. Under “Bravest thing you’ve ever done,” I wrote, “Deciding to leave my marriage.”
The message from this person simply asked: “Regrets?”
To which I replied: “Zero.”
