Your town, city, or county undoubtedly has at least one Facebook mom group. These mom groups can be sectioned off by location, interests, or due dates. As a mom group veteran, you start to see some patterns emerge. These are the moms you’ll see in every Facebook mom group.
The New Mom
She posts at least once a week with a “Sorry guys, it’s me again.” She joined the group while pregnant to get an idea of the best pediatricians in the area, recommendations for a baby bouncer, and newborn photographers. Now that the baby is here, you’ll see a 3:45 a.m. post: “Is this what breastfed poop looks like? Picture in comments.” Give her time; she’ll calm down. We’ve all been there.
The Crunchy Mom
Did someone say Dreft?! The crunchy mom is ready to tell you how horrible those chemicals are for your baby. She baby-wears, co-sleeps, breastfeeds, and makes her own cleaning products. At face value, this all seems fine (except the co-sleeping), but she uses the comment section to shame new moms and scare-monger others. We all have different ways of parenting, we all have different values. As long as we’re keeping our kids safe (and yes crunchy mom, skittles are fine) don’t let her tell you otherwise.
The Medical Advice Mom
Sometimes overlapping with the new mom, the medical advice mom uses mommy Facebook groups as her personal concierge medical service. From the more common “Name this rash,” or “Anyone else have this bug that’s going around?” to the less common but ill-advised asking for advice on high fevers, limping kids, or kid headaches. Other than a friendly “Please call your pediatrician” or “Go to the ER,” do not engage.
The Newly Back at Work Mom
“Does anyone know of any work-from-home jobs for people in XYZ field?” We see you. You just got back from maternity leave. Your new baby is in daycare, and you’re leaking breastmilk between Zoom calls. This mom will post looking for advice on local daycares, then daycare illnesses, then see if anyone has used a nanny or au pair, then starts posting about how people manage staying at home financially. Circle of life. Hang in there, mama; it gets better.
The SAHM Who Needs Adult Interaction
“Is anyone around today to meet at the library?” “Anyone going to the play group at 2 p.m.?” This mom needs to speak to an adult that is not Ms. Rachel. She’ll be posting looking for playgroups, meet-ups, and anything that gets her out of the house and with people who have all of their adult teeth. Also seen hyper-fixating on sleep schedules, toy rotation, and baby sign language. Hopefully, this mom has a girls’ night or date night coming up. Eventually, this mom will pick up a non-kid hobby for self-care, usually reading. But for now, she’s one episode of Cocomelon away from losing it.
The Experienced Mom
Just lurking the comments at this point. Sometimes selecting the “get notifications” if the crunchy mom and formula mom go at it. This mom knows that all kids are different, and the toddler years will humble you. When this mom decides to comment or post, pay attention, the queen is speaking.
