I have two children in special education. My oldest daughter (now 7) was about 2 ½ when I first heard the words “speech delay.” As a first-time mom who was clueless about any developmental delay, I am not afraid to admit that I was flooded with guilt and shame.
I fell into a black hole of self-doubt, convinced that I had done something wrong along the way; it had to be my fault. I immediately pictured my daughter being the one behind in school, the one being picked on, because of me.
I am here to tell you that this is NOT the case. The best thing I ever did for my kids was make the call to Birth to Three.
My older daughter started speech therapy in the height of the pandemic, and at the time, it was entirely virtual. This was a bit of a struggle, as it was more about me being taught the ins and outs to apply at home. However, what I learned during this time would have a huge impact on my future kids’ lives, although I didn’t realize it at the time.
Before my daughter turned three, I was introduced to the world of the IEP: An Individualized Education Program. Any child diagnosed with a developmental delay or disability has an IEP. It is tailored to them and their needs, including goals, objectives, and plans.
My daughter was referred to the special education (SpEd) preschool within one of our town’s elementary schools just before her third birthday and was able to start in their classroom as soon as she was three years old. She was set up for success. We did it.
Fast forward to the next kid, my COVID baby. I knew by his second birthday that he also had a speech delay.
This time around was different; I was different. I knew what to look for. I was ready to advocate for him. I was not ashamed; I was determined to get him the help that he needed.
It took multiple calls and three different assessments to get him approved. His cognitive ability was off the charts, and I was told that he would talk “when he was ready.” The best piece of advice I can offer you is to trust your mama instincts.
My son did not say more than “mama” or “dada” by two and a half, and I knew that he was behind. I needed to get ahead of it. I fought for him. My speech therapist from Birth to Three (who also worked with my daughter) fought for him. When he was approved for services, I felt such relief. We did it again.
Fast forward to today: My SpEd children are thriving. They have become strong, confident learners. They are focused and driven.
My oldest daughter is entering second grade in the fall and still receives speech and reading services at her school. The special education staff at her elementary school is incredible. My biggest concern was that she would feel different when she was pulled from her classroom for services. After all, bullying starts so early these days. They made certain that this would not happen, and guess what, it never did.
My son went from not speaking a single word or seeking any peer interaction to being the classroom’s leader – helping the other kids and participating in every activity with confidence. He took a lot longer to “crack” than my daughter, but the SpEd staff did not give up on him for a second. He is not only meeting but now exceeding all his goals. With a September birthday, I decided to keep him in preschool for a bonus year, and I am so confident that he will be more than ready for kindergarten the following year.
Advocating for your child is one of the greatest things that you can do as a parent. There seems to be a bit of a stigma around children with developmental delays, and I am here to join in the fight against it. There is nothing wrong with a child who needs a little extra help.
If you feel as if your child may have any delay, I urge you to speak to your pediatrician or other parents who have been in your shoes. There are so many incredible resources that are here to foster their best development. I promise you, it will be the best decision you can make in your child’s life.
