My 40th Year

Today, I turn 39 years old. It’s the last year of my thirties, and I’m not entirely sure how I feel about it. There’s no stopping it, so I think I might as well embrace it. I’ve come up with a brief list of 39 things (just kidding, it’s only 5 things) that I no longer have time for as I head into my 40th year of life.

1. Social media arguments.

Can we get an Amen? Against my better judgment, I engaged in a debate (or two) on social media a few months ago. Even though it was on my own page, I knew I wouldn’t change or even influence anyone else’s opinion, but I had to get my two cents in. Why? I have no idea, but I won’t make that mistake again. 

Tip for myself: Social media should be fun. I won’t add to my stress level for something that should be fun.

2. Not taking charge of my physical health.

I feel like I’ve been taking charge of my mental health over this past year, but I have to say that I usually cancel or postpone doctor appointments, even when I need them, because I don’t have “enough time.” I’m going to figure out how to make the time this year.
Tip for myself: Be an advocate for yourself. Your health is just as important as your children’s.

3. Not doing everything I can to make sure I’m happy in my career.

Lately, I’ve been struggling with not feeling completely fulfilled in my career. So I reached out to management with some ideas that will be beneficial for the company and myself. Feeling stagnant at my job is the beginning of a recipe for disaster.
Tip for myself: Don’t be afraid to speak up with management, even if you’re afraid your ideas will be shut down. Who knows…the next thing you suggest could be your “yes!”

4. Not needing to responsible for everyone else’s happiness (and feeling ok about that).

I think happiness is a choice and something that means something different to everyone. Can I try to make life fun? Sure. Should I consider people’s feelings when I make decisions that affect them? Of course. But I shouldn’t try to make everyone else happy at the expense of my own.
Tip for myself: Your happiness is just important as your children’s, your friends’, your spouse’s, and the stranger in line behind you. Don’t sell yourself short.

5. Disregarding my intuition.

Over the past few months, I’ve learned that my intuition is a very powerful thing, and I don’t always trust it when I should. When I don’t, things don’t turn out so well. But when I do, magical things can happen.
Tip for myself: Over-analyzing can talk you out of many good things. Always trust yourself. 
What are some things you want to let go of as you head into your next year of life?
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Charity is a newly-single mom of three with a son born in 2012 and identical twin daughters born in 2017. She lives in Monroe and has been writing for Fairfield County Mom since 2019. Charity is a full-time speech-language pathologist, working with patients all across the lifespan. She is also an intuitive medium. In her life before children, Charity was a professional stage manager, working in theatres throughout Fairfield County. Charity is passionate about her family, career, ballet (which she began at 39 years old!), musical theatre, and her amazingly-supportive friends as she begins a new chapter in her life. She firmly believes that you are never too old to stay stuck in a situation that is causing you pain. You can follow her on Instagram at @charityferris.


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