As moms, we must carve out time to nourish our souls. We take on so much and often put others’ needs ahead of our own. Releasing the stress of the day-to-day grind is vital for our well-being. Working out in the early morning quiet hours is one way to replenish myself.
However, recharging with a friend with a sanity breakfast is even better!
Our first conversation wasn’t exactly the seed that sprouted a decade-long friendship—or was it? As a school psychologist for an early intervention preschool, one of my favorite duties was to hold social skills groups with three- and four-year-olds.
That particular day, the topic of death came up. If I recall correctly, one child’s cat had passed away. Needless to say, children can often feed off of each other, and a discussion about their familiarity with death ensued.
As a result of that conversation, I made a follow-up phone call. I politely introduced myself and shared that the topic in the group that day was death and that her daughter shared with the group about the death of her older brother and how he died. I wanted to inform the mom that her daughter had spoken about some deep things.
I was met with a pause – a relatively long, silent pause. It bordered on awkward, but luckily, leaning into the silence is a learned skill for school psychologists. Then the silence broke, “Oh my god, my daughter is a psychopath.” She went on to explain that while she did have a son, he was still very much alive. Perhaps her daughter wished he wasn’t.
I explained that children often tell untrue stories, which can often be a sign of cognitive development. I assured her that her daughter was not a psychopath. Fast forward ten years, and we are the closest of friends.
Our sons and daughters were the same age, so we were riding the rollercoaster of motherhood together. We spent the years taking our kids to nature centers, gymnastics, Scouts, school socials, etc. and even met up as a surprise in Florida one year.
Our time together slowly morphed into our sanity breakfasts. Sanity breakfasts are calming, peaceful times when we vent about life as moms. We listen and don’t judge as they say, except we may judge our husbands, kids, or random social media comments.
That’s what’s great about it. We connect so well as moms, and she knows if I vent about my husband, it releases my stress, and I’m recharging my mind to face the next teen eye roll.
These days, our sanity breakfasts are often about the lovely aging process and how it’s taking a toll on our bodies and minds. We laugh about our first conversation, how our boys tried to break into my dining room window together when my son was locked out, and how she searched for clover milk when my daughter told her she needed it (she thought it was a type of milk, but it was just the brand my daughter was used to drinking).
