Do What you Need to Fill Yourself Up


fill yourself upWhen you are pulled in a million directions. When you are trying to balance it all. When sticky hands are tugging at your shirt or calling your name or crying for the sake of crying, you close your eyes and imagine your zen. You imagine bedtime, or naptime, or daycare, or school, or hiding in the bathroom. You imagine quiet. You imagine time alone.

But did you notice how sometimes, when you get those moments to yourself, you don’t even know what to do?

You stare blankly out the kitchen window or get lost looking at the pile of clothes shoved in the corner of the room. You attempt to gather your thoughts. You try to silence the noise in your head and think, “Okay, what should I do? What does my soul need to recharge? What is going to fill up my almost empty cup?”

Through your mom brain fog, you consider your options. You weigh the pros and cons only to conclude that the thought of having to change your clothes, or fix your hot mess hair, or drive from here to there and back sounds exhausting in itself. The internal struggle of deciding what to do goes on a little longer until finally, you end up crawling under the covers. You want to do nothing. You want to go nowhere. You want to just be.

And guess what? That is exactly what you should do because that is the beauty of self-care: It can look different depending on the day.

Self-care doesn’t have to mean going to the spa or getting a mani/pedi. Nope! Some days it might mean grabbing a drink with friends. Some days it might mean going to Pilates or journaling or reading the book you started a year ago. Some days it might mean binge-watching Teen Mom while eating warm chocolate chip cookies or going to Target and walking down each aisle just because you can. Some days it might mean shaving your armpits or organizing your closet. And some days, when you’re running particularly low, it might mean taking a nap. Because you just don’t have the energy to do anything else. And that is okay because it is what you need. 

So, mama, do what you need to do to fill yourself up that day, that hour, that minute. Self-care doesn’t always have to look the same. Each day is different. Listen to your body. Listen to your soul. Give it what it needs, whatever that may be. You have my permission. And remember: You can’t pour from an empty cup. Now, go enjoy that nap.

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Alisa Fulvio
Alisa is a psychotherapist, life coach and mom of three. Alisa is a native of Fairfield County and lives with her husband (a New York transplant), daughter (October 2012) and two sons (January 2015, June 2018). Following the birth of her second child, Alisa left her full-time job and pursued her dream of starting her own private practice by founding Balanced Being Counseling, LLC and Balanced Being Coaching, LLC ( located in downtown Fairfield. Alisa specializes in working with young women and moms to decrease stress and manage feelings of anxiety and depression. She is trained in treating perinatal mood and anxiety disorders and is an active committee member of Postpartum Support International- CT Chapter serving as the Communications Chair. Alisa is the creator the Facebook Group, Balanced Mama, a non-judgmental space for moms to feel inspired, gain support and come together among the chaos. She is passionate about motherhood, supporting women, buffalo chicken and a good margarita.


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