Do you dress your kids? Obviously, when they are very little and cannot pick out clothes for themselves, we have to dress them, but when they are toddlers and older, how do you handle their clothing and outfits? I’ve never been one to get in the way of someone’s sense of style, even at age two, never mind messing with teen style. Clothing choices usually aren’t battles I think are worth it.
Recently, on vacation, I looked at my sixteen-year-old and noticed her shirt was quite faded. Her sense of teen style is completely, I have to wear clothes and might as well just be comfortable, nature and therefore a bit sloppy and worn. She has favorite pieces of clothing that have been washed a thousand times.
I decided to drag her to the mall one day, and guess what she wore? The faded shirt.
Even though we still had a lot of summer left, I said it was a back-to-school shopping trip, and everyone needed new clothes. I talked about the need to donate or throw away (cough, cough) older clothing to make way for something new. As we walked through one particular store, I commented on how soft this t-shirt was, touched cozy sweatshirts, and emphasized how comfortable new clothes can be.
I decided to tackle the faded shirt. I told my daughter I knew her favorite t-shirt was the most comfortable thing, but maybe she should just wear it to bed; it had seen better days. She immediately agreed and said it might need to go in the trash. I was shocked! She was happy to find some new shirts to wear. My dreaded conversation did not need to be dreaded.
These days, I am hesitant to bring up conversations about looks with my teens. I want them to focus on what’s inside, and I emphasize not judging books by their covers. We talk about being healthy and taking care of our bodies. We all have to wear clothing, and I want them to be content in their own skin.
We discuss how the concept of how we dress and present ourselves to the world can play a role in how others perceive us. I think back on my pre-kid days of watching What Not To Wear and Oprah and how I learned the importance of being cute for you. When I feel cute in my outfit, I have an extra pep in my step.
So what if my daughter wanted to keep wearing the faded shirt? Was it really that big of a deal? What if I was interrupting her feeling of being cute? That certainly wasn’t my intention, and luckily, it wasn’t the impact of our conversation.
My daughter came home from the mall with a couple of new shirts, and even if she keeps wearing the faded shirt on rotation, I won’t intervene. The faded shirt is a part of her journey of discovering who she is and what she likes, clothing choices included. I’m happy to play witness.
