No matter how old your kids are, you have heard the term “Toddler Trenches” before. Thinking back to those dark years might bring a chill up your spine, but I am here to hopefully bring a smile to your face as you laugh at your current misfortunes.
I want to start by saying that I do *sometimes* love this stage. My two youngest kids are 2.5 and 4.5, only twenty months apart in age, and share a wonderful bond. My older son is really starting to grow socially and academically. It’s amazing to watch him develop and learn new things.
He is a typical wrecking-balll-of-a-boy and the sweetest, most caring little brother. My little lady is a tiny ball of attitude, the epitome of the youngest sibling, but her budding personality and spitfire energy are my favorite things. She is going to be a fierce one, for sure.
Now for the fun part. If you have ever wondered, “Wow, did I really just say that out loud?” or “Is this actually real life?” then this is for you. Here are a few reasons my toddlers got mad at me or each other recently.
- The sun was sunnier for my son than it was for my daughter. Unacceptable.
- They both needed to sit on ONE (of seven) cushions on our large sectional couch. Both kids were banned from the couch until they learned to sit in different spots.
- I put noodles on the little one’s dinner plate. She refused to eat them, but I kept putting them there, hoping she would one day join the rest of the buttered noodle-eating child population. But how dare I put that disgusting carbohydrate on her plate?
- I didn’t give her noodles for dinner. Please refer to the previous statement.
- I would not let either of them use the stove to melt an open a bag of Cheetos. You heard this correctly.
- I would not allow my son to take an iPad into the shower with him, even though he had “nothing to do.”
- My littlest looked at her big brother too much, and he didn’t like her “looking eyes.”
- I would not let her play with the “lollipops with strings” because they were tampons.
- The pretzel was broken from chewing it.
- The Pirate’s Booty was not actually booty-shaped.
- I could not get the toy purposely launched into the trunk while driving on the highway.
- I would not let my son use a “weawy sharp knife” to cut a slug in half. (Send help!)
The toddler years are not for the faint of heart. They will harden you and make you question your sanity. I have heard so many people say, “You will miss them this little,” and while I probably disagree while cleaning up pee or yogurt from the floor for the seventh time that day, I truly think I will miss it.
So, for now, I will sit back and try to enjoy their ridiculous requests, fiery attitudes, and gremlin-like behavior. After all, it is their world, and I’m just living in it…and they won’t ever let me forget that.
