We met in elementary school, parted ways after second grade, and were reunited in middle school. She was my best friend, and we became inseparable on the weekends because we were still in different schools. Middle school and high school passed, and our friendship remained unshakable.
She stayed home to attend a local school, and I went away to college. Every time I came home, I was very excited to see her, but boys came first. It was becoming clear I was second string, but I continued to see the best in her.
After college, we entered the corporate world, so I had higher expectations and assumed she would respect our relationship more. I asked her to be a maid of honor in our wedding, which I later regretted. She continued to disregard my needs as a friend, even during the wedding planning.
Shortly after our wedding, it became clear it was time to “break up.” We had been in this toxic relationship for far too long. As I spoke to others about unsavory incidents involving her, I realized how badly I had been treated. None of my other friends would do this to me, and I knew that. Plus, I’m pretty sure they were tired of me telling them about all these incidents.
I am writing this piece to tell anyone who is in a similar situation that it is okay to “break up” with a friend who is causing you more pain and anxiety than allowing you to have fun together. It is not necessarily easy by any means, obviously, I still think about her. I recently found out she had been in some trouble, and it makes me sad, but I know I couldn’t have stopped that. I had been by her side for so long, but my advice, support, and opinions were never really valued.
It is important for you to be healthy and happy in your friendships, and for them to be based on mutual respect. If you find it lacking in any relationship, take a step back and ask yourself whether it is worth it to you. If not, it’s okay to move on and continue to value and enhance the other friendships you have. It took me a long time, but it was so worth it.
This experience has made me wiser and stronger. Over the past seven years, I have been able to invest in and nurture old and new friendships. I have become a better friend because of this and am thankful for our time together. Our relationship brought me to where I am now, and I couldn’t be happier with my village.
