The Year I Thought I Quit Goodie Bags

My twin’s birthday is coming up, which means I’ve entered that familiar mental spiral.

Cake? Easy.
Guest list? Manageable.
Goodie bags?

…TBD.

Because somewhere along the way, kids’ parties stopped being about cake and chaos and started requiring a departure gift that looks like it was curated by a lifestyle brand. A bag filled with plastic junk, tattoos that are impossible to get off, stickers that end up on my kitchen chairs for decades, something sticky, and other items that I find myself sneaking into the trash can a few days later.

And here’s the thing, I didn’t always feel this way.

There was a time when I, too, walked the aisles of Target, convincing myself that tiny bubbles, a slap bracelet, and a sticky hand were just part of the deal. I told myself, “It’s fine. This is normal. Everyone does it.”

But now that my kids are in school, the classroom birthday and Valentine’s Day gifts have arrived. Remember when Valentine’s were just cards? Maybe a lollipop if your parents were feeling wild? (Can’t even do that anymore because of allergies!)

Yeah, those days are gone. Now it is a full production. There are themes. Coordinated colors. Personalized tags. Tiny toys attached to heartfelt messages that say things like “You blow me away!” (paired with bubbles, obviously). And suddenly I’m standing in my kitchen at 9 p.m., asking myself how I ended up here?

How did a sweet little holiday turn into a shopping list, an assembly line of write, stick, and bag, and the mental comparison sport of, are my kids’ gifts good enough? And who decided this was necessary?

Here’s what I know: My kid does not care. Their friends do not care. The only people who care are the parents quietly losing their minds while hot-gluing mini erasers to cardstock.

Which brings me back to the goodie bags. Because goodie bags are the same thing. Another invisible expectation. Another box to check. Another “everyone else is doing it, so I guess I should too” moment that lands squarely on the mom guilt checklist. And listen, if you love doing goodie bags, truly, live your best life. I am not here to yuck your yum.

As for me? I have my own opinions and thoughts about goodie bags. Don’t make me get my soapbox out! And yet…I will still be doing goodie bags for my kids’ party because even I, someone who talks for a living about boundaries, mental load, and opting out, am apparently not brave enough yet to make a full stand against the goodie bag machine.

So yes, I will complain about it. Yes, I will overthink it. Yes, I will swear this is the last year (a lie I tell myself annually). And I will also remind myself that this isn’t a moral failing, it’s just a season I’m not done navigating yet, and you may not be either.

Maybe next year I’ll be braver. Or maybe I won’t. And honestly? That’s okay too.