A few weeks ago, a mom-to-be stopped me to say how cute my kids are. She had that spark in her eyes — the excitement, the wonder, the countdown to motherhood. She told me she only had a few weeks to go and asked me a few questions, eventually saying, “Oh, but you must have it all figured out. It must be so much easier the second time with baby number two.”
I paused — and I just couldn’t lie to her.
“It’s actually harder the second time,” I told her. “Now you’re healing, taking care of a newborn, and chasing after a toddler at the same time.” I encouraged her to soak up every moment with her newborn because although there are challenges — breastfeeding, sleep deprivation — it’s a different kind of hard when you’re also trying to be everything to a three-year-old.
Not to mention, no two babies are the same. My kids may look almost identical, but their personalities and experiences couldn’t be more different.
BLW: Round Two
Four years after my first baby-led weaning (BLW) journey, my second baby has made me question everything I thought I knew. The first time, I did everything by the book. We took it slow, focused on textures and flavors — not calories — and he responded exactly how the books said he would.
So, this time, I thought I was ready. I used the same approach, but wow — it feels so different.
Back then, I had the time. I laugh now, thinking about the energy I poured into every recipe. You’d think I was prepping for The Great British Bake Off. I was constantly stressing about sodium and choking hazards and had a freezer full of prepped meals at all times.
This time? It’s a bit more chaotic — and honestly, more real.
My second baby wants meals—not textures, no bites. He’s happiest with three full courses a day, and if you dare stop feeding him, he will loudly protest until service resumes. I’ve spoon-fed much more than I did with my first because while I tried to follow the “by-the-book” self-feeding method again, his frustration if it was all too slow, made it feel like there was a tornado ripping through the kitchen.
What I’ve Learned the Second Time Around
1. Big siblings are big motivators.
BLW encourages babies to eat with the family, and that’s true—but what I didn’t expect was how powerful the sibling influence would be. My second baby watches his big brother like a hawk—every bite, every movement. He wants to do everything his brother does, and that’s become a huge motivator for trying new foods.
2. Less comparing, more confidence.
The first time, I felt I had to constantly explain BLW to my family. This time, they’ve seen it in action, and they’ve seen the benefits. I also trust myself more. When he gags, I don’t panic as much, and I know when to intervene and when to let him work through it. Less obsessing. More observing.
3. Keep it simple.
Life looks different than it did four years ago. New careers. Homeownership. More kids. More travel. Less time. So meals are simpler — he eats what we eat when we eat. We mix in pouches for convenience, and guess what? That’s okay. In fact, because we didn’t offer purees or mashed textures the first time, my older child still refuses mashed potatoes. Lesson learned.
It’s Not a Repeat — It’s a Remix
Baby-led weaning with a second baby isn’t just doing the same thing twice. It’s a remix — bringing everything you learned the first time, adding flexibility, perspective, and a deeper understanding of what really matters.
It’s not about perfect meals or spotless floors. It’s about helping your child enjoy food, trust their body, and feel part of the family table.
So skip the guilt and stop obsessing – you’re doing great, Mama.
