One thing I noticed with parents and kids is we’re losing the ability to be uncomfortable. A message that challenges you and makes you uncomfortable? Unfollow. Conflict at the playground? Intervene for them and swiftly move on. Less than ideal friendship or family relationship? Protect your peace.By creating a more comfortable bubble for us and our kids, are we doing them a disservice?
Being uncomfortable and facing adversity is how growth happens. In a recent podcast I listened to, the guest asked his host: If I could promise you that your toddler wouldn’t face any adversity until they’re 18, would you want that? The host said no, and I agree. We must look at the things in our lives that make us uncomfortable and re-evaluate.
With my own kids, I am trying to be more mindful of this. On the playground, if I see my four-year-old get into a conflict with another kid over taking turns or something similar, I’ve been actively stopping myself from saying anything. I want to see how he handles it. If he starts being unkind or physical, I’ll step in, but I’m finding it more and more important to step back.
With my older child, there is lots of talk about being cool or feeling embarrassed. I repeat myself often that being embarrassed is a choice. I was upset recently when she could opt out of talking in front of the class at a Mother’s Day event. Public speaking is a skill that all children need to learn. You can’t stay in your comfort zone; you won’t grow.
Additionally, being uncomfortable is letting our children be bored. The world’s greatest mother (sarcasm), Betty Draper, once said, “Only boring people are bored.” For better or worse, I use these words often and encourage them to use their imagination to fill the time.
As much as I love weekend activities and fairs and lessons, when I was a 90s kid, it was different. If we went out, it was to go on errands with our parents. I found things to do. I smelled flowers at the landscaping place, and I played hide-and-go-seek in the racks at the clothing store. You figure it out without any activity being spoon-fed to you.
As millennial moms, we’re also pretty bad at being uncomfortable. How often have we been told to protect our peace, to cut out something or someone that doesn’t serve us? That inconvenience can be a trauma.
Not all of my friends share the same views I have. I like being challenged, and if there’s an area where we have to agree to disagree, I’m okay with that. Of course, I’ve unfollowed accounts and people who upset me. Of course, there have been friendships that have taken their course. But there’s so much emphasis now on things that serve us, sometimes we miss out.
