Mommy, Do Adults Have Free Time?

My seven-year-old asks all the poignant questions at 6 p.m. on a Monday. I thought about this for a second. She asked because I was switching off with my husband and headed to an evening tennis lesson. While tennis lessons were time away from family, it wasn’t really “free” time.

I responded to her that my lessons were me-time but not free time,

Later that evening, I brought it up again with her. Do you know how Mommy likes to get you both tucked into bed and go downstairs? Yes. Well, that’s the only time we have free time. But even then, I have to ensure lunches are packed, the kitchen is clean, and dishes are away.

When do adults have free time? We worry about our kids getting overscheduled and ensuring they have unstructured time. This ensures they don’t get burnt out and have time to decompress. Why don’t we allow ourselves the same kindness?

Currently, I focus on adult time instead of free time. Date nights and things like exercise, tennis lessons, and dinners with friends are important to me. However, all of this time is scheduled.

Will I immediately find a task to fill those 20 minutes? Extremely likely. I am a shark, and if I stop moving, I might die. Maybe scheduling free time will change how I use it. Reading, scrolling, praying, or meditating would be ideal. However, so would baking, laundry, or tidying.