Parenting is hard. There, I said it. My girls are three and almost 18 months old. They’re intelligent, sweet, and always curious. Recently, with the increase in my little one’s language and communication skills, I’ve noticed increased frustration from my oldest.
She’s quick to grab a toy, swat a hand, or scream, scream, and scream some more! All of her behaviors are developmentally appropriate and likely being “triggered” by her little sister beginning to truly have a “say” and establishing her independence.
With my youngest’s firsts, there is now a sense of wonder related to my “big girl” and her emotional response. Will she have a meltdown? Will she ask why?
Either way, times change, and I’m here for it. Recently, we were out to dinner, and the person we were with was mortified when my oldest started tantruming. They gasped in disbelief, told me to take my kid to the car, and then expressed their embarrassment at the situation.
I was shocked. I didn’t know who to console first, my child or the grown adult who came with us. Here’s the thing about being a parent—your kids will cry. It’s not about you, your competency as a parent, or anything else related to who you are as a person. It’s about YOUR KID learning their needs and how to regulate their emotions. Here are some of my favorite tips for navigating an overwhelming meltdown.
1. I’m just kidding. I don’t have any tips for you. I’m in the thick of it, too.
All I can say is that my daughter needed validation, connection, and lots of cuddles at that moment. Presence is ALWAYS the answer.
Sometimes, slowing down is what we need. If people can’t understand or appreciate your child behaving as a child should, they’re not for you, or their time with you or your child may need to be limited. You have the control and the say-so in that!
As for the on-lookers or people in your circle who may not be accustomed to little ones, it’s okay to decline their input or completely disregard them as you continue tending to the needs of your little one(s).
