I live with Ulcerative Colitis and thankfully experience no symptoms with the right care for myself and daily medication. Regular colonoscopies are also part of the deal. If you’ve ever been curious about this life-saving procedure, come join me for my 8th.
7:30 a.m.: My little guy awakens me like every other morning. Today is prep day, so the menu is limited to clear liquids, such as broth, Jell-O, Gatorade, and Italian ice. I eat some lemon jello and drink the allowed 8 oz of black coffee. I pour the solution into a big jug filled with water and pop it in the fridge for later. I can have as much of the clear liquids of my choice as I like all day, and I also make sure to keep drinking water.
5:00 p.m.: I take an anti-nausea pill prescribed by my doctor. This little addition has been a game changer and I highly recommend!
5:30 p.m.: Time to start the prep! I personally use the big jug method because I know this prep works for me, but I have heard from several people who have had success with the pill version. I drink a quarter of the jug every 15 minutes until it’s gone. I use a large glass straw, which helps the salty mixture go down more quickly without tasting it as much. It’s not terrible – lemony and just slightly more salty than my usual electrolyte powder.
6:30 p.m.: I finally made it to the bottom of the jug! I feel ok, just a little full. Now the waiting game begins.
7:00 – 9:00 p.m.: I will spare too many details of this part, but it’s best not to stray too far from the bathroom, as what goes in must come out, again and again and again and again. Thanks to my trick of eating a little lighter a few days before, I have already achieved the clear status needed for the test. It’s essential to note that, although not exactly enjoyable, this part involves no pain or cramping, just a sense of urgency.
9:30 p.m.: When I’m fairly certain there is no liquid left in my body, I prepare the jug again with the solution mixed with water and put it in the fridge for round two, which I will begin in the morning.
10:00 p.m.: I brush my teeth and go to bed, setting my alarm for 2:30 and 3:00 a.m.
2:30 a.m.: My alarm sounds, and I pop another anti-nausea pill and fall back asleep.
3:00 a.m.: My alarm sounds again, and I get up this time. I go down to my dark kitchen and start drinking the jug every 15 minutes until it’s all gone.
4:30 – 6:30 a.m.: You already know this part; it’s not fun, but at least I know this is the last of it.
7:00 a.m.: When I’m sure the bathroom trips have stopped, I take a nice warm shower and watch episodes of Leanne, which is like comfort food for the soul, until it’s time to leave for the procedure.
8:30 a.m.: My husband and boys drop me off at the colonoscopy center.
9:00 a.m.: A nurse calls my name, and I am led back to a room with a curtain. She takes my vitals and asks me to go to the bathroom in a cup. Then I change into a gown, put on the grippy socks, and look away as she puts in my IV. Now I sit back, close my eyes, and wait.
9:15 a.m.: It’s time! The nurse leads me into a very sterile-looking, bright room. I hold my gown closed behind me as she wheels my IV in. Another nurse takes my hand and helps me up to a raised bed, where I am told to lie on my side and am immediately covered with a warm blanket. I have started to shake from the cold and my nerves, and I’m not sure which came first. The blanket is deeply comforting.
9:25 a.m.: I am engaged in a nicely distracting conversation with the nurse about her recent bridal shower when the anesthesiologist comes in to introduce himself. His smile is kind, and his hand is warm, and he shakes mine. My gastroenterologist comes in, greets me, and assures me that I am in good hands.
,9:30 a.m.: The anesthesiologist asks me to take five slow deep breaths in and out – in, out, one, in, out, two, in, out…
11:00 a.m.: I hear my name and feel someone gently rubbing my arm, but it sounds so far away. I feel annoyed. Who is waking me up from this beautiful, deep sleep? I open my eyes and realize where I am. I am groggy but also very happy to realize that it’s over.
11:15 a.m.: The nurse helps me get dressed as I am still very woozy. She then walks me out to the waiting car, which is carrying my husband and boys. I get in the car, and my husband hands me an apple juice box and a bag of gluten-free crackers. I hand him a paper with pictures of my colon and information stating that everything looks good and no polyps were found. A few biopsies were taken, and we will receive the results in a week or so.
11:45 a.m.: Happy to be home, I take a warm shower, fall into bed, and sleep for another few hours.
5:00 p.m.: I wake up and have a nice warm bowl of white rice, chicken, and carrots. My stomach feels happy, and I feel calm.
Nine days later: I received a phone call from my doctor telling me all the biopsies are clear and I can wait three more years before my next colposcopy. Great news!
Colonoscopies get a bad rap, but they are really not that bad. They can detect cancer or abnormalities very early, and any polyps found can be removed before they have a chance to develop into something more serious. Plus, if you have no underlying conditions or family history, you may only need one every ten years. I stated young due to my condition, and I just accept them as part of my life now.
