The Illusion of Having It All Together


A mom trying to do it all.How many of us have been complimented for having it all together? I’d imagine the number is large, and the pressure from such a belief can feel overwhelming— at least for me!

It’s kind of others to compliment my parenting, and while I believe my kiddos are perfect, I am okay admitting that I certainly am not! There are days of organization, neat hairstyles, and homemade cookies, and then there are days of total mayhem. It’s all about balance, right?

So, how can we better embrace motherhood and accept that we don’t need to have it all together…at least not all the time? Here are a few tips from a therapy perspective!

1. Rediscover who YOU are.

Motherhood changes us. It’s inevitable. Embracing and leaning into these changes will help your mental health and allow you to be present in parenting. Pick up a new hobby, revisit memories from your pre-mommy life, and find ways to spend time engaging in self-care!

2. Build connections.

Find your people. In doing so, you can continue functioning in the most comfortable ways for you and your family. Part of “having it all together” is including others in your circle! Recently, I was contacted by a Fairfield County Mom reader; we are both choice moms with different experiences raising our children. We connected at a local library, and it was so nice to build a connection for myself, but more importantly, for my girls!

3. Seek professional help.

If you’re feeling burnt out in several domains of living (parenting, career, relationships), it may be the right time to reach out for support. Individual, group, and family therapy can be helpful ways to decompress, learn skills, and have your feelings validated. Seeking support is one of the best ways for us to take care of ourselves and, in turn, take care of others!

What tips could you offer others regarding having it all together? Keep up the good work. You’re doing amazing!


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