Why I Make My Kids Order for Themselves and Why You Should Too

As a social worker who has worked with children over the years, I have noticed that this generation often lacks social and life skills.

The world is much different than the one we grew up in: cell phones, social media, and screen time. More time on devices and less time outside playing, interacting, and having real conversations. Kids communicate differently now. They don’t have to call up the house phone and speak to the parents before asking to speak to their friend. Now they text.

In addition to the decrease in in-person and over-the-phone conversations, parenting seems to have kicked up a notch. Parents are doing more than ever for their kids. And I don’t see this as a good thing. For one, parents are more overwhelmed and stressed than ever. And two, kids aren’t learning basic skills when parents are always there to figure it out or do it for them.

One small thing you can do to address both issues: Have your child order for themselves!

From the time they can use their words (around the age of two or three), kids can order for themselves at a kid-friendly restaurant. Yes, you might have to assist with translation–if their speech isn’t the greatest or if they order the “crabby patty” and the waiter looks at you perplexed. “Yes, he meant a cheeseburger.” But try to only step in when necessary. Let them speak for themselves, and ask questions about the menu if available. “Mommy, do they have root beer”? “I don’t know, sweetie, you have to ask the server.”

If something comes out wrong (they were given a Sprite instead of the seltzer they ordered), have them address it with the server. If something didn’t go as planned, use it as a teaching moment. Have a conversation with them about a way they could have handled it differently.

All these little life experiences add up.

It builds their confidence. It teaches them they have a voice and can ask questions when they don’t know the answer. It allows them to practice their manners. To look people in the eye when they are being spoken to and when they are speaking to others.

It might seem like a small thing–ordering for themselves, but I promise you, it’s one thing you can do to help build those social and life skills. Your kids will thank you later in life.