It’s the end of the day and my husband and I are laying in bed. He leans over and tries to snuggle. At this moment, I want to crawl out of my skin and scream, “Please stop touching Me!” Not because I don’t like or appreciate his touch, but because I am at my max.
I am OVER TOUCHED!
The feeling of being over-touched happens to a lot of us moms. We constantly have kids climbing all over us, wanting to sit on our laps, needing lots of hugs and kisses, and wanting to hold hands. Touch, touch, and more touch all over your body, all day long. Some of you might even be cringing right now as I describe it.
So how do we balance it? How do we, as moms, feel comfortable in our own skin and appreciate the touch of our spouse and our kids without feeling overwhelmed and guilty? Here are three things I do when I am having an over-touched day.
1. Set Boundaries
I try to teach my children boundaries and respect for their bodies, so I need to model that behavior. So when I’m feeling like I need a break from all the sitting, hugging, and snuggling, I say to my kids, “Mommy loves you very much, but she needs some space. You can sit on that couch for ten minutes, and Mommy will sit here (away from them), and when the timer goes off, we can sit together again.” I might do this a couple of times a day. It gives me ten minutes of personal space, or often they forget and end up doing something else.
2. Take a Shower.
I call it washing away the day. After the kids go to bed, I might take a hot shower, put on some nice lotion, and clean jammies, and I feel like a new woman. I washed away the feeling of being a mom, and I am ready to be myself and a wife.
3. Meditate or Deep Breathing
Aside from being over-touched all day, we can be over-talked and over-stimulated. Raise your hand in solidarity mamas! I might forego the shower for ten minutes of silence, sound vibrations, and a few deep breaths. I often do both! This clears not only my body but also my mind and can shift my mindset.
And remember, it’s your body, and it is more than okay not to want to be touched at all, even after a shower and deep breathing. Communicate that with your partner. You need some space, and that is okay! Our kids are watching us. We need to show them lots of love and affection, but we also need to show them it’s okay to want and need personal space.
