As moms, the level of multitasking can be exhausting. Our brains are constantly processing all the never-ending to-do lists for our loved ones, pets, households, etc., and it’s easy to forget about ourselves.
We need to make a habit of putting ourselves on that list, especially during the busy, chaotic holiday season. Each time we put ourselves on that list, we steer ourselves on a more joyful path. Be it a small, tiny step or a big breakthrough choice, steering your own destiny towards your goals makes for a happier existence. Find your happy.
This year’s Thanksgiving was a very quiet and peaceful one for my family. We visited my dad in Florida and flew our college son to meet my husband, daughter, and me. The Thanksgiving table was smaller, with many of our Canadian friends staying up north for the holiday.
There was something different in the air – a calm serenity that felt not only so good, but so needed. It’s been missing. All the weekly obligations were off the table. I was with my immediate family for an entire week, and it felt so good. Just how it should be.
The weather was in the mid-80s all week, and we played cards, games, shopped, golfed, discovered a new juice place, and just soaked up life. My husband and I would have our morning coffee out on the lanai, looking at the birds, and our evening coffee, looking at the Florida sunset. We just let the environment inspire us and bring us the simple joys that are so easily overlooked amid the chaos of our daily lives.
I was able to reflect on the holiday and where we were at, here in this space. Then, what’s next? What’s the next inspiration to steer us where we want to go? Joint goals that mesh with personal goals. It felt good.
So each year, as we approach the season of resolving, or not, for the coming year, I always choose one small step for myself that increases my happiness or health.
I quit smoking when I was 26. One of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, but it felt so good. I kept a card in my wallet listing the reasons I quit: it smelled, my clothes and breath smelled, it was expensive, and it was unhealthy. If I was ever tempted, I pulled out that card and read myself the reasons I made my choices. They always made sense and reinforced my commitment. That was the first time I felt powerful enough to do anything.
The strategy worked for me, so I continued listing and reviewing things that pointed me toward happiness and health. It became how I set goals and accomplished them. Since then, I’ve made numerous steps that keep steering me in a direction that makes ME personally happy and fulfilled in life, which in turn makes me a better spouse, better mom, and healthier person.
Small steps, like eliminating plastic as much as possible, or larger steps, like setting personal boundaries with people who drained my energy, keep me on my path. Yes, it’s easy to lose sight of our own goals and aspirations as we raise our family, but keeping ourselves in the forefront with the smallest of choices will keep us in the habit throughout our lives.
When your kids are almost grown, like mine, you have more time to think about yourself and reflect on how things are going. If your kids are younger, that time will come, but you can still envision and set goals.
Where do you see yourself in five years? How is that different from where you are now? What small steps can you take to steer yourself in the direction of your happiness?
