How to Talk So No One Will Listen

Want to know how to effectively talk so no one will listen?

1. Be a mom. 
2. Have kids.
3. Try to do anything unrelated to those kids.

Ok. So this is a tongue-in-cheek post, right? Well, sort of.

Do you ever have the thought: “Why do I even bother speaking?” or “Why does anyone bother to ask, if they’re going to do (or act, or say) the opposite?” I do—all the time.

It’s a school break, and the kids are home. And guess where they are? In your face, all the time. If you’re not at one of the fabulous indoor play spaces that Fairfield County has to offer, or on a play date at one of the many options catering to kids in our area, they’re home with you all day long.

I have a four-year-old boy and a two-year-old girl. I will admit, she is worse at listening than he is. But when the moons come together, and the stars align: everyone forgets how to listen. Don’t judge me, but I sometimes give in.

When I’ve been asked 62 times at 6:00 a.m. for Goldfish (even though they’ve had breakfast) and I’ve said no 61 times, I give in.

When I’ve been asked 17 times at 4:25 p.m. for Play-Doh (even though I know it will wreck my carpet) and I’ve said no 16 times, I give in. Don’t judge me.

I swore I would never be “that mom,” you know, the one who dishes out empty threats and gives in to her kids all the time. And, I’m not. 90% of the time. But guess what, that other 10%? Life happens. I have four clients that I serve through my work-at-home position, and they keep me really busy. I have a husband, a household, and my own stuff to deal with.

Let’s be honest: It’s hard. It’s overwhelming some days. I know there are days when I lock myself in the bathroom for five minutes just to not be climbed on, and cried to. I know there are moments when I hear “MOMMY!” for the one thousandth time in a day, and I want to say, “She’s not here right now!” 

As moms, we don’t get breaks. We’re always on the clock, whether we work at home or away. Whether we have help or not. Whether we are sick or healthy, happy or sad. Whether it’s been a bad day at work, or finances are tight, and you have no idea what to make for dinner.

You are still a good mom if your kid ate Nutella straight out of the jar for dinner. Why? Because he ate something.

You are still a good mom if your kid threw a fit in ShopRite and you waited until you got in the car to cry yourself.

You are still a good mom if your kid’s whining (like nails on a chalkboard, if you ask me) hasn’t caused you to send him to his room forever.

We are all good moms doing the best we can. Regardless of our family size, situation, or finances, it doesn’t matter. This job is hard. The employees don’t listen. They are messy, demanding, and challenging. And there is no human resource handbook for motherhood. We all do the best we can with what we’ve got.

We’re raising kids, not robots. Kids can be out of control. They can be rude. They can be messy. They’ll drink someone else’s juice box. They will test you. But guess what? They’re kids. That’s how they learn. That’s how they grow. That’s how they figure out that they are in control of their own emotions and choices. That’s how we equip them for a life of success and confidence.

And, the best, most unexpected part? At the end of some of the hardest days I’ve ever had, my son or daughter (sometimes both) will give me unsolicited hugs, kisses, and snuggles and tell me that they love me. That tells me that I’m doing something right. That, at the end of the day, love listens, love responds, and love grows.