At the start of the school year, we have so much hope for a successful year. We want kids to feel empowered, happy, and successful. We want them to feel important and included. We want to teach math and science and writing, but also empathy, awareness, and kindness.
We know how much words and actions matter.
The main message in our schools is a focus on being kind. We encourage random acts of kindness. We tell kids, “In a world where you can be anything, be kind.” Even Aesop’s fables teach that “No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.”
I understand how important kindness is, and I want my children to be considerate and caring of others. Kindness is an important place to start, but being kind doesn’t feel like enough…especially for my girls. Let me tell you why.
The definition of kind is being “friendly, generous, and considerate.” It is usually reserved for polite interactions: Can you kindly pass the tea? It can also mean affectionate and loving. When I looked up the definition, the example it provided was, “She was a kind, good woman.”
Sometimes, I worry that focusing so much on being kind doesn’t help when someone is on the receiving end of injustice or unkindness. We can ask our kids to be kind, but what do we do when someone is unkind to them or their friends?
Girls, especially, should never feel that they must follow the script of being considerate, understanding, and friendly when uncomfortable. Instead of telling my girls (and boys) to be kind, I want them to remember to be so much more.
1. Be respectful.
Mind the rules in school and respect other’s physical and emotional boundaries.
2. Be courageous.
When you see something that isn’t right, say something or find an adult who can help. Be a friendly face to others who are being left out.
3. Be mindful.
Stop and think before you act. Don’t gossip or speak ill of others.
4. Be your own person.
Don’t get caught up in the crowd and worry so much about what’s “cool.” You will never regret being loyal to what feels right for you.
