Every Kid Needs a Win

It’s no secret that one of my main goals in parenting is helping my kids find their passions. I’ve talked about my older daughter’s love for the theater and how her turning into a “theater kid” has given me so much joy. It’s also given her a large group of great friends, a huge boost in confidence, and some direction each day instead of just zoning out on her screens.

So, it should be no surprise that I would want the same for my younger daughter.

My little one has always been a challenge. Not in her temperament, though she CAN get a little wild; I mean, she is the “second child.” But more so in her navigating through life. From her tumultuous start in this world to her struggle with selective mutism, things haven’t come easy for her so far. Since I work outside the home, weekends are our best bet for activities.

Our first try was dancing, and she liked it! I saw little peeks of confidence, and she enjoyed the actual dancing well enough. Dance classes continued for a while, but then I noticed the spark was gone. She went through the motions and enjoyed wearing the fun dance outfits, but it didn’t hold her interest. So when the times for weekend classes changed and didn’t really work for us, she had no trouble dropping dance in pursuit of something else.

Imagine my surprise when she had the idea for soccer! I played soccer for about six years as a kid, so I was elated that perhaps my love of the sport would carry on! Well, spoiler alert—it didn’t. We struggled to get her on the field, and the terror at a ball coming anywhere near her was obvious. That being said, I’m proud to say she made it through the whole season, but I knew she didn’t love this.

Even though she was only eight, it made her sad. Call it sister envy, but she saw her sister loving her theater life and shining up on the stage, and she wanted that too, and so did I.

It wasn’t about being the best but feeling that rush of accomplishment. I wanted her to have that “win” that comes with doing something she was good at, that makes her happy and brings her pride.

She already knew that theater was not for her. While her selective mutism may finally be in our past, she feels strongly that standing up on a stage is not what she wants. So, I took a step back to look at my daughter, really look at her, and it was so obvious. In fact, I’m embarrassed that I didn’t see it all along. When all the evidence came together, I felt like a detective on a TV show.

The pieces of paper with doodles scattered all over my house. The abandoned cardboard boxes set for recycling that became troll houses, rocket ships, and even a Thanksgiving Day parade float! The crayons, markers, beads, and stickers rolling around every crevice of my home, this little girl of mine was an artist!

So, I did my research, found an art school with the right days, times, and location to work with our family, and enrolled my girl the very next weekend. After that first class, I knew we had found it.

She came out of class bubbling over to tell me what she created. She’s excited every Saturday morning to get moving and get into class.

She didn’t care that she didn’t know anyone, didn’t care that I couldn’t stick around, didn’t care about anything except rolling up her sleeves and creating.

I’ve never seen her so happy, and it showed me that every kid needs something. Something they can excel at when it’s not school, sports, or dancing. Something that holds their interest, that they can be proud of, and that they can look forward to.

Every kid needs a win, and I’m glad my girl has hers.